Is there something wrong with me? (sex related)

[Superhumancrew]

The last few times I've had sex with men they've gone soft during it, and occasionally not been able to cum. I'm starting to feel really down about this, like it's something wrong with me, and it's really affecting my confidence.

I was with an ex for 9 years and this never happened with him. He would always been rock hard, and never seemed to struggle to cum. Since that relationship ended I start seeing someone who frequently went soft, and could only cum through stimulating themselves. They said that this was completely normal for them though so I just accepted it and it wasn't a problem. However, since then I had a one night stand, it was all good the first time, but the next day we started having sex and after a while they just went completely soft and didn't cum.Then this happened again with me with a different man last night aswell. What the hell's wrong with me?

I haven't got the best body in the world, bit of a mum tum, stretch marks etc, but I'm a size 10, alright face (I think). I'm quite confident in bed, but like being submissive so I usually let the men take control (which doesn't seem to be a problem). But could that be the reason? Could my vagina be too loose?

Please help, I'm loosing all my confidence and feel hideous. I don't really feel like having sex with anyone ever again because of the rejection.

It might be worth mentioning that all the guys had been drinking alot, and are users of other drugs like weed and coke. But still, if it was one person I'd think fair enough they have an issue and it's not a problem for me, id happily just accept it as part of our sexual relationship, but this keeps happening so it must be me. I feel so down about it.

Not ATM, had some NHS counselling last year when I went underweight but it stopped when I put the weight back on. Would like some but can't afford it. Your right about the men though, just can't help craving some affection.

Just seen your next message. I have my daughter weekends, and my mum is very supportive, but no don't live with any other adults. Would like to but not sure I'd cope with it, or them me, I have wierd eating habits and things.

Is there any chance you could go back to your GP and ask about the options for more counselling or psychotherapy, support services for eating disorders and/or alcohol problems, and/or a possible referral to CMHT? It sounds to me like you really need some support. If your GP isn't helpful or you're not sure about going to see them, you could also contact Mind or a condition-specific charity like Beat or AA.

This is a shot in the dark so please forgive me if it's completely wrong, but I did wonder whether there is a possibility you might have BPD, might be worth having a look at the link to see if anything sounds familiar. If not please ignore me!

Thanks, I will go back I think. Worth a shot, their not always that keen to help though. I've wondered about BPD before, I have alot of the indicators but never been formally diagnosed

Thus is far more likely to be a problem with the kind of men you are choosing.

Drinkers. Druggies. Death grippers. Men willing to go bareback so no care for their own sexual health.

Lovey, go get a sexual health check and make sure your risk taking has no immediate physical consequences.

Then stop sleeping with shit men and do whatever it is you need to do to bolster yourself back up.

Glad I wasn't completely wrong about BPD. All the more reason to ask for a referral to CMHT, as they are the only people who could give you a proper diagnosis (which you would need to get from a psychiatrist).

And if your GP is reluctant to refer you could always see another GP for a second opinion.

Agree that a full STI check would be a good idea too.