Have been idiot at Xmas party....pls advise.

[oughttoknowbetter]

I've never posted before but feel this is something I can't even share with friends as it makes it all so much more real and involving them will only drag them into my stupidity further. Plus how would my DH feel if he knew others knew about my actions?

To get to the point at my Xmas party I got drunk and had a very extended i.e. not just one, drunken kiss with my boss who I've never even glanced at in that way before.

I have two fabulous kids, a very happy marriage and no intention whatsoever of having an affair but know myself well enough to know I should't go to such parties because I always behave appallingly and five years ago (before kids & marriage) kissed another man whilst drunk. I confessed all to my future husband and he reluctantly forgave me but said it must never happen again.

I don't have any fear that things will go further with my boss when I return to work and see him (I've already seen him once and we discussed it briefly and, in my case, with embarassment) but wanted some feedback however scary, on how MN think I should go on.

Chalk it up to experience, never mention it again and never let yourself get so pissed that it is an option again.

Don't tell your dh - it'll make you feel better but just be offloading the worry on to him - he can't possibly know whether your comment that you won't have an affair is genuine.
at the end of the day you were drunk, you did something silly, but you haven't actually been unfaithful.
Forget it - no harm done if you don't repeat it. Just learn from the experience and look for another job!

Don't beat yourself up over it. Remember how you feel now and just think that you do no want to feel this way again. ie. don't have too much to drink if you can't trust yourself.

Happy new year

Agree with Carmenere. I have, in the past, been a bit of a tart when very very drunk. Now I do not get very very drunk! I like to think I have also learnt from my mistakes but it is safer not to test myself too much!

(I am single so I can do what I want now but no one wants to wake up remembering a drunken kiss that if you were even a little soberer you would never have allowed to happen)

Thank you both. Unfortunately I can't get another job as I work for the NHS (as does my DH but in a completely different area/location) and I'll have to see my boss for several months to come.

I certainly won't be going on any more work drinks though. I guess my two main concerns are a) will anyone tell him and I can answer this almost certainly (no) and b) why do I act like this? Anyway now that the madness has passed I will try to be model wife until the menopause!

oughttoknowbetter - I don't think you need to examine your motives too closely. As others have said - you're feeling very uncomfortable with yourself at the moment so the best thing will be to avoid situations where there could be any repetition.
If it's any consolation I'll let you into a secret...
DH and I used to work at the same firm. A couple of times before we were married I snogged people at our annual sales conference. I felt really uncomfortable about it afterwards, even though it was fun at the time! We've been married happily for 14 years and I've never told him.
I don't think anyone ever mentioned it to him at work, but if they had I hope he would have accepted that I was a bit silly - nothing more than that.

Thanks FP, never mind Santa's Little Helper, I now feel less like Satan's Little Helper. It's good to actually hear that other's make stupid mistakes too even though I know they must. Glad to hear you've weathered/ outgrown bad behavior. There's hope for me. I know that if my DH knew though he'd seriously consider divorce. Makes it even dafter doesn't it?

Have a great NYE, I'm bed-ridden with flu - celestial revenge perhaps.

It's even risky to write about it on here as all he has to do is check a few things on the PC. Just forget it and don't even write about it.

And practice fising anybody who mentions it to you with a very hard stare and sating cooly ''you are mistaken. That didn't happen. You are thinking of somebody else''

fixing

Fear I may have become too good at subterfuge already as I normally blab any hint of wrongdoing to all close friends/family immediately. Will have to repeat the 'No idea what you mean' line to several people unfortunately as I remember turning round thinking 'surely no-one's seen this' at one point and finding a whole gaggle staring at us slack-jawed. I also know it's been mentioned in the office since but am hoping by the time we return it'll be yesterday's news.

"sating cooly "

go on FMF, how does one do that as well?

er...

oughtoknowbetter. Trust me, just keep practising especially the hard stare

oughttoknowbetter - at least it was in front of everyone, not in the broom cupboard! You'll probably be able to get away with laughing it off.