I learnt to drive recently. Dp insists on coming along to sainsburys to get bread. FFS

[charliecat]

Hes always been able to drive, since he was 18. Before I learnt to drive I would make sure we had bread and milk, now its not so important coz I can nip out and get it at any time. I didnt used to ask him to get things on the way back from work much, appreciating its a pain in the arse after being at work all day.
Anyway....so we need bread, just bread.
So I say ill go, no we will all go. Noooooo say the kids who are on holiday from school and really dont want to be pointlessly dragged to sainsburys.
"Well i dont want to be stuck in the house"...ok then You Go, by yourself...and he has...Thanks God but this is pathetic, isnt it?
When will it end?

Have you had this out with him explicitly ?

Does he really not want to "be stuck in the house" or does he not want you driving ?

What about you "not wanting to be stuck in the house ? What about you getting 10 minutes to yourself (even if it is to pop to Sainsburys) ?

Does this happen often ?

You really need to get him to say, once and for all, what his fears are about you driving, or, better, tell him you are going out, and you are going on your own and that's that.

You're an adult. You've passed your test. He can't prevent you from doing something you are legally entitled to do. He is being an arse because everyone started driving at some point and it's often said that you only really start to learn to drive once you're out there on your own after your test.

This will end when you end it I'm afraid. Stand up for yourself !

charliecat

Would have to agree with Catsmother and I would go as far to say there is a control and power issue going on here. He is trying to undermine you.

Sorry couldnt get back to this last night.
I think hes having trouble coming to terms with the fact I can just walk out the door and go where I like regardless of time or weather(not restricted by the hourly bus after 6 or the fact its peeing it down)...being a man, not realising its exactly what hes been doing for years leaving me her with 2 littlies...
I thought by getting him to go by himself I was sort of putting my foot down. Surely he doesnt REALLY want to be the bread fetcher, he just doesnt want to be in the house with the kids while im (Ha Ha) "Swanning about" all by myself.
I have previously said, There is NO NEED for all us all to go, however if its looking after the kids youve got problems with Ill take them, and hes not said anything back in return so ive just gone.

charliecat, as someone who is about to do my test [need scared smiley] I think it's a bloody good thing you have done it. Well done. It does sound like your dh has a problem letting you out! Maybe he thinks you will go out for a loaf of bread and not return Seriously though I have known women who have partners who have gone out of there way to stop them learning to drive as it can keep them dependent
Hope dh gets used to you driving soon

Good Lucky Winnie My dp, surprise, surprise was one of those.....also kept telling me how shite I was, when my instructor was saying, your doing fine...
For the first few weeks when I was driving his car he was ringing at 9.27 to see if I was back yet from dropping the kids off at school
My mum brought me a car to put a stop to those arguements
So I dont have to grovel to use his car anymore I just have to justify going out ALL BY MYSELF

lol, had exactly the same thing with my DH. A tad jealous aren't they? As my good friend said to me (and i think shes right) it's all they have, driving and DIY, they don't want it taken away from them...