Help me to like people, please?

[LovesPeace]

Hi all
I know this is a strange one, but I'd like help to cure me of being a loner.
All through life I have made a few good friends, but it comes to a point where I just disengage from them (when I've moved away, or changed jobs, for example). I don't return contact.

I am quite happy with my own company (and I do still have friends, amazingly). I just largely can't be bothered with people, but this can't be healthy, right?

Any thoughts? Would counselling help me to be an extrovert team player rather than an introvert loner? Society does like the former, and considers the latter weird...

I was thinking of starting a thread about this. I'm an introvert and am finding that I am becoming less tolerant of people the more time i spend on my own (in a kind of catch 22 situation). Last year i ended a friendship with someone who is a real drama queen because i found her draining. Yet other people moan about her but still stay friends. I had another friend who is quite negative and moody a lot of the time, again i distanced myself from him whilst others put up with him. And recently i find myself getting irritated with another close friend just because we have had a few discussions where he has been quite stubborn and a bit argumentative. I can see a pattern developing but am not sure how to stop it.

OP: I don't think it's healthy to spend too much time alone either and there should be a balance between satisfying your introvertism and still having the social support that friends provide. Sorry can't suggest any solutions but will watch this thread with interest.

Agent, Ive also said on these threads that the Susan Cain book, while interesting, is of no help because the working world wants extroverts and pointless meetings.

In previous jobs I have tried to raise it and told to get with the programme and just deal with it. In my current job I have met with much more understanding but it's sheer bloody luck really. I am quite a low person in the pecking order but if your DH brings in money for the firm I'd focus on asking for the best conditions to make make money.

I have been planning for early retirement since I was about 25 and a desperate craving for quiet is a major reason why.

Susie, the people who are still friends with the drama queen like drama!

If your DH brings in money for the firm I'd focus on asking for the best conditions to make make money

This is a good point, thanks lorelei. He would get so much more done if he were allowed to work from home more frequently and not participate in so many 'talking' activities. These activities are not required for him to do his job and, if anything, are detrimental. I'm not sure how receptive his work would be, but I'll talk to him. It's hard for others to understand - for him it's not just feeling a bit bored or irritated with constant meetings (as it is for most people), but the anxiety caused by having to be 'switched on' for these activities.

Agent, I feel,his pain. Those things take away battery power and at a much higher rate than other stuff. If they aren't needed for the job....I actually saw a careers adviser (free of charge) and she was very sympathetic but says that even jobs which had been good for introverts in the past were now changing.

I remember reading Dan Pink years ago, talking about work based on outputs, and thinking it would never happen. It's hard enough to get home based work.

Don't get me started on open plan offices...