Confused if It's me or him

[Notgoodatall]

A week ago I gave birth, suffered a haemorrhage and had to go into theatre. Was a very frightening experience for us both. It's taken me a while to get back on my feet again and he has been cooking, cleaning, taking our other two to school etc. Things were fine but now he's complaining that he's having to do everything and says things like "live my life for a day" he is very snappy and behaving quite vile most of the time. Last three nights I've been reduced to tears... Tonight when I started crying because I confronted him about his behaviour he started saying "oh for go sake you're not crying are you". His behaviour reminds me of Kevin the teenager. Stomping around etc and he says I'm not empathising with how he feels. Even though I've said many times it's hard doing it all isn't it? And telling him how much I've appreciated what he's been doing.
I just feel like utter crap and I'm in bed once again in tears. This isn't right is it?

I'm glad he's apologised, that's the first step.

However it would be a mistake to put it all behind you without him examining why he reacted like that? He needs to work on changing that default setting so it doesn't happen again.

We've all done things we aren't proud of in the past but if we bury them without learning from them, that's not good.

Well as this is a terrible time to be dealing with something like this maybe you should take him at his word. He has apologised and given you his reason. Whether you choose to accept that or not is up to you. And I understand wanting to at a time when you are vulnerable and want to enjoy your newborn and recover.

What wouldn't be acceptable is if it continues. If it continues, he has told you he understands that his actions were wrong so he shouldn't repeat them. If he does that makes him a twat.

When I lost 2 litres of blood and had a dozen doctors all working on me I was comforting my husband as he was panicking. It wasn't until later that I looked back and rather than it being sweet that he was worried, he had said "I was worried you were going to die and I would have to rsise the baby alone". At the time I didn't think anything of it as it was a legitimate concern. But in retrospect, I could have died and he was worried about himself.

Again I'm not saying that is what you are dealing with. I am however saying that yiu should see his future behaviour for what it is and give yourself a break. You've been through a lot.

Ah, we cross posted OP. Well, glad he's apologised but it's not really excusable behaviour I'm afraid.

Not managed to read all thread but wanted to offer my experience for you to compare.
I had a section just over a week ago and needed to spend 6 days in hospital. My DH has been doing everything (house is spotless, cooking, ironing, sorting our other 2 DC out - one of whom is only still a baby) plus he is still working. He hasn't moaned once and to be honest, he thinks I have the harder 'job' at the mo! I have even thanked him for how brilliant he is and he tells me not to be silly. We are usually 50/50 with regards to housework etc.
So, yes I think your husband is being a dick. You need to recover from birth and not worry about things like this.

Him absolutely - though for what it's worth I had similar situation with my other half, and it did get better. i Hope you recover well!

How can it possibly be you - he has been treating you like crap and sorry but if he was so distraught at the thought of you dying would he not be cherishing you instead of giving you verbal abuse.

God help you then if you are depending on him to have your back - he sounds a complete arsehole, sorry but I am shocked someone can be so evil.

It's been a week!!!!! I had a similar Burgh expel be with DD and my husband did absolutely everything barring night time breast feeds for 8 weeks. He would send me to bed for a rest in the afternoons and wake me up after a nap with a cup of tea and a cake!!! That sounds more usual than being a prick and moaning about the hoovering or whatever after a week. Tell him to get absolutely fucked. I'm livid on your behalf.

Burgh expel= experience