advice regarding compulsive gambling please

[Zebedee13]

My boyfriend is a compulsive gambler, we live together and as I'm sure it goes without saying it has a massive impact on our relationship and us individually in different ways. He is aware he has this problem and has had counselling through gamcare not long ago, however this finished and he has relapsed. Basically I would like to know what else is out there? I know about gamblers anonymous and that will probably be his next try, so I guess I'm asking if anyone has any experience with this? Or anything else? We also think he will benefit from separate therapy to deal with some issues from his past which may has contributed to the beginning of the problem. So any stories anyone would be willing to share in similar situations would be really appreciated.

I am also looking for support myself so if anyone has anything to share about gamanon that would also be helpful. Thankyou all.

Also I hope I have posted this in the correct topic, it was between this and mental health and I'm aware this relationships board gets a lot of traffic, so feel free to move it if not appropriate.

My dh has a gambling addiction. Roughly a year ago, after going through the bank statements I realised just how bad it had gotten, from £5 on a saturday to up to £200 a week. I of course went mental, he phoned the bank and got his card blocked at the websites he used. A few months later while sorting his wardrobe, a massive wad of credit card statements came falling out a pair of trousers. I have never felt so sick in my life!! He owes about 10-15k. That day, he was given the very final warning he would be out if he even so much as looked at a horse ever again and a photo was put up on fb of the statements(very childish, but very satisfying knowing everyone now knew) but I was sooooo mad that he would do this to our dc, and I was walking about with a hole in my trainers That day I also called the bank and closed the account, and opened up my own account. Since then, his wage is paid into my account, he can take the card to supermarket etc but no money is to be taken out at the atm etc. His old phone is still connected to his google account, so easy to do a quick search for betting sites.

Run.

Thats all.

I you want to stay with him then get him to pay his salary into your bank account.

Cancel all his credit cards and keep a check on any finance.

Really, its not worth it. Gambling terrible.

At least an alcoholic can only spend money as fast as they can drink.

A gambling addict can go through your next 10 years income on the £100 a go fruit machines in bookies.

£200 is 2 goes of a FBOT. About 30 seconds.

Thankyou everyone for your responses it's good to have varied perspectives and I'm grateful for anything.
I hope I'm not drip feeding as I know I didn't give much info in my first post, but that was because I could have written an essay so had to keep it simple. So we do live together, his wages already go into my account, we have had many attempts at me controlling the money and none have worked yet. We also have children, one child each from previous relationships. We have been together a year and he had this problem way before we got together, he was honest from the beginning although I wasn't aware of the extent of it. The hardest thing really is the mind games which come with the lies and manipulation. That's why I feel I need gamanon.
I feel like I'm just trying to give it 1 last chance everytime and getting now where.

Well tbh after a year, Id ask him to leave really

It sounds as though he hasn't accepted that he is an addict yet. DH went through the motions for years before it sunk in. He knew he had to stop but thought he had a lot more control over gambling than he did. Counseling helped loads with this but GA didn't. For him the premise of once an addict always an addict that GA works on was too much for him to take on board and it made him resistant to the rest of their programme. This was the worst part for us and to be honest I don't actually know how we got through it.
I do recommend GamAnon but with the caveat that it can be a wee bit evangelical. I found it most helpful when I took the benefit of our shared experience and not as all the working the programme stuff.

Now that he has accepted his status as an addict GA is fab, it helps to keep him focused on his recovery. It was just a bit hard core for him in the early stages.