Has having a child of your own changed your relationship with your parents?

[angelfaces]

Since i had my little boy my relationship with my parents seems to have gone downhill, i think they find it hard to accept that their little girl is now a mummy. I just find them so patronising about the way i look after my little one to the point i don't enjoy being around them with him. How can i tell them to bite their lip and accept that methods have changed a lot since i was a baby and to let me get on with being a mum myself without hurting them.

my DS is a year odler than my youngest brother and i find it really difficult at times.

the kids all fight but because DS has ASD anything that happens is balmed on him even when i know it wasn't...but how do you say something without casuing world war 3?

so i understand your frustration trust me.

I think all you can do is just accept that the advice they are giving is meant with good intentions. your still their baby and they just want to help you as much as they can.

It's helped me see that they made massive sacrifices to keep us all together, and fed and healthy. I appreciate that more now.

Unfortunately, it's also highlighted now little time they have for me-and consequently my son. It's a shame he's not going to have the kind of relationship with them that i had with my Grampa for example.

They don't interfere though. How old are you Angelfaces, are you an only child?

I'm in my late twenties, my son is only 3 months; i realise it may take a while to settle into new roles it just upsets me at the moment that i feel like i've lost the parents i had, i've gone from having a close relationship with them to one where we feel so distant from eachother. Maybe i'm over reacting, i just wondered what other peoples relationships were like with their parents after they had children of their own. I understand and appreciate everything they went through for me now i have my son i just wish they would let me be a mum myself without trying to take over. I've not been a mum for long but not everything i do can be wrong?! Just feel a bit miffed that they can't support me by praising my actions without reminding me every two minutes that their way is better.

I have a history of physical, emotional and psychological abuse from my mother. I spent 10-12 years still maintaining contact with my M but everytime she'd still manage to upset/hurt me with her behaviour. When I was 6th months pregnant with DS she called with something pathetic to moan about and I lost it. I told her my opinion on the matter and asked her why did she call if she didn't want to hear what I thought. I never got the opportunity to tell her I was expecting! Never told her at all. I realised she would never change and I needed to be strong for DS. I could not let here back into my life.

DS was 8-10 mths old when the jungle telegraph told her I'd had a baby. She called expecting to walk in like nothing had happened. I said she could not be part of our lives until she acknowledged the past. She flatly refused to admit anything ever happened so I had to say no.

So I suppose motherhood has made me mentally stronger in a positive way. I was always deferential to her requirements and I needed to be A1 for DS and DH and my family.

My DF still thinks I'm the 6 year old girl I was when my parents split. I love him dearly but he has to come to terms with the fact that 25 years have past and I've moved on.

Hell, I think motherhood is turning me into a bit of a hardnosed cow tbh

Hi angelfaces, I think I understand very well what you mean, since my mother never approved of a thing I did. I used to tell her that she had had her turn and it was now mine.. I did that one evening when I was feeding baby with one hand, holding a hand of cards with the other and having a glass of wine, she thought it was scandalous!! My children are now grown up and I am expecting a grandchild any day now. I hope I can keep my mouth shut when dd does things I wouldn't do.Would it be possible for you to ask your mum's advice before she comments? Also, bear in mind that children do not change that much over the years and that not all innovations are good ones. But when all is said and done it is your baby and you must do as you think fit. What does baby's father think about it? And your father?