Unhealthy obsession with other man

[Rainbows911]

Hi everyone,

Been in a relationship since I was 16 years old - 8 years on we are still together now with 2 children and have bought a house together. I don't know if what I'm experiencing is the "7 year itch"/boredom/fedup but I give birth to my son July 2015 (he's now 7 months old).

8 weeks after giving birth I thought I was happy and went to some reunion with some old school friends. There was this man there called Dean who I had never seen before and as soon as I saw him I thought "hmm yeah he's OK looking" then thought nothing else of it. As the night went on we were all drinking and me and Dean got chatting - turns out he has a girlfriend and had lost a baby with her a year ago. It also turned out him and his girlfriend live on my partners moms road, which is 1 road away from me.. so that night dean dropped me home and tried it on with me - we ended up kissing and exchanging numbers. For about 2 months we text each other flirting ( I know it's not fair on my other half), he sent me dirty pictures and I stupidly sent him pictures of me in my bra and I was having an emotional affair. My partner knew something wasn't right with us so I admitted to him I felt strange about everything and explained I had been speaking to someone else. Obviously he was devastated and told me he knew who Dean was and not to talk to him again. Anyway I stopped speaking to the guy and a few weeks later me and my partner went for drinks at a club by where we live - by coincidence Dean was at the same club. Dean come over and hugged me in front of my partner (he's very cocky) and my partner stormed out very upset and went home. I said to Dean look how much trouble you've caused and I went home. When I got home my partner was passed out drunk and Dean was texting me drunk and coked off his face asking me to meet - turns out his own girlfriend was out that's why he wanted me to come over. The next morning I get a text from him saying "your a nice girl but I can't talk to you any more, the texting is getting too much and my girlfriend is on to it - I will talk to u when I see u around". So more like he was drunk, passed out and his girlfriend seen our texts. They've also bought a house together and he's 30 so they are serious. Since he sent that text we haven't spoken since - I replied ok and we haven't spoke for 6 months.

Because he cut it off with me I've been obsessed with him.. Looking at his and his girlfriends Facebook etc just constantly thinking about it. He's bad for me and I know it - me and my partner have our own home, 2 beautiful children and are very lucky for the luxuries we have at our age. But no - I'm obsessed with some guy who takes Coke on nights out and thinks it's ok to cheat on his partner and will never leave her ? Why is he constantly on my mind ?!? I still want to talk to him but I can't. He is totally wrong for me in every way. I drive past him now and again when I drop my children off at their grandparents and just wonder what it is that made him not want to talk to me anymore - was it too obvious I liked him ? His other half is stunning so don't know why he cheats on her. She is the same age as me (24) and also has a 4 year old from a previous relationship. I'm unhealthily obsessed and don't know what to do/who to turn to. I can't love him because I hardly know him!!!

Please don't put me down I just want advice - It's strange because I look In the mirror at myself and appear normal - but in my head/mind I'm going crazy and know this just isn't right.

[sorryoldwoman]

I found a utube video that actually helped me! I was amazed! It's by a man named Dan Jones it's called self hypnosis love removal process. It calm me and and my thoughts.

[SandyY2K]

I agree with this

you both sound about 15 years old, I pity your partners, hopefully they will realise they can so much better than either of you.

I think the issue might be you've been together since very young and haven't experienced other relationships.

[sorryoldwoman]

You have a very good point about relationships but by not knowing the whole story judgements aren't helpful. We aren't unaware of what our choices and their consequences could do.