After some advice

[clairepf]

Hi Ladies. Im after some advice
Ive been with my other half for 2 and a half years now. We both have two kids each from previous marriages. We are now living together (along with my two kids) and his kids regularly visit us.
Before we moved in together I made my intentions about marriage clear , that I would like to get married at some point. I brought up the issue about engagement about 6 months ago and he said ‘Im not anti or pro marriage but I think its something that should happen when the time is right. Especially because I have a crazy ex (his ex wife has made it hard for him to see the kids, shes slowly getting stable now)’ he also mentioned he is much happier being in a happy relationship without getting married but he would also be happy to get married if I feel strongly about it however it would be good to get other priorities in order first.
Im not sure if its just me being paranoid but does this seem like excuses to string the engagement as long as possible or am I just being paranoid? thanks

It sounds like he doesn't really want to get married. I wouldn't want to push someone into marriage who wasn't really in to it. Would you be happy to just continue as you are?

He doesn't really want to get married. He told you that 6 months ago.

What other priorities was he referring to??? Did you ask??

If you are tip-toeing around the subject hoping he'll come round I would not recommend this as a tactic. Not when there are dependent on each side. You really need to protect yourselves and your dc legally and financially.

Hopefully you'll be able to hammer out the issues - if not then perhaps you shouldn't marry him ?

Thanks for your replies. he said the main priorities is making sure the kids get along. his eldest had a bit of jealous issues when we first started dating but hes coming around now. i have a good relationship with his kids and hes great with my kids

I agree with them. He does not want to get married. He is just happy at what you are right now. Maybe his first marriage became a trauma to him. But I hope someday he will change his mind for you. If he really loves you, he will do it.

Is there any reason in particular why you'd like the validation of marriage? Just curious

It doesn't sound like he wants to get married and I wouldn't want to force the marriage on to him. He could feel this way due to his bad first marriage.

It marriage a real deal breaker for you?