Would this bother you?

[Janeyat867]

I've saw 2 messages on my H's fb from about a month in of us being together to 2 different women one saying he didn't know why they stopped texting and she said she had his number and she would text to meet, another saying to meet up at the weekend lots of kisses on both and flirty. This was years ago now. I've just saw them and I'm furious.

Sure it would bother me. But if he'd been a rock-solid and respectful husband in the years since then, I'd be bothered for about 10 minutes, and maybe tease him about tonight. If, however, he's a bit of a dick who made me doubt myself a lot in the years we'd been together, then this would be the moment that the scales fell from my eyes.

How confident do you feel about your H's love and respect for you, Janey?

It just confirms that he's been a lying twat from the very start!

It depends on how your relationship started. With my most recent ex, in the first month, I went on a date with somebody else because it was nothing serious.

My ex prior to that, it was full on from the start so with him, I'd have been upset. But as the previous poster said, it depends how you've been treated since then.

Why are you on his fb? It's over. Stop hunting for things that will hurt you. You don't need to prove anything anymore. Concentrate on things that will help you, not hurt more.

I'd be pissed off too. However when I first met my OH (we met OLD) we had 3 dates and he confessed that he had a date lined up in three days... I told him if he still wanted to go he should. I think I may have even encouraged him for at least 10 seconds..I wasn't even trying to be cool I look back now and think 'wtf was I thinking?' Neither of us is a player I just think at that stage neither of us knew what we would mean to each other such was its infancy. I'm so glad he didn't go.
why are you asking are you worried about something recent?

Why are you even giving this headspace now ? 'Been a lying twat from the start' is a bit of a hysterical and over the top reaction to some ancient messages written when you had just met and neither of you had any idea how it would pan out... On the other hand, if there is some huge back story whereby he has/continued to message and/or see other women throughout your marriage, then your comment is relevant and you need to divest yourself of his presence in your life. Difficult to say without more info.

It happened years ago so it wouldn't bother me unless I had some other reason to doubt him.

Why do you feel the need to check up on him?

There is a massive backstory on a other thread that's currently very active.

OP, it's a mistake to post this separately I think. You're in danger of reading the type of reply that says "early days, years ago, let it go" - because they don't know that he's carried on with other women and prostitutes ever since.

You're right to be angered by it - but hopefully it will just make it easier for you to kick him out now.

Without the backstory it sounds like you are being a drama queen with the backstory mentioned by cabrinha it sounds like he is a twat and you should LTB as soon as possible.

Sorry for this post, I should of left it in my last post im just so angry, I'll ask MN to take this down, I just wanted to know if he'd always been a liar and I got my evidence.