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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Did things, and now it's awkward

62 replies

PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 19:50

Hi all,

New to the forum. Suggested to join this forum by a friend, who said mumsnet would / will give honest / mature feedback / opinions on what I am about to post.

So got a bit intimate with someone @ work. No full sexual intercourse took place, but foreplay happened. Now things are starting to get a tad awkward @ work, and I am now starting to feel a bit uncomfortable!

Has anyone ever been in such situation before? If so, how did you you overcome this?

OP posts:

Report

PreAdvent13610 · 19/02/2016 21:32

I might be being a bit thick but how is he making a big thing out of this.
Many places of work require relationships to be declared, very difficult when the are just starting out.
You want to know where you stand, call him or text him in out of work hours.

PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 21:41

LMAO that actually would make me laugh . . seeing him trying to squeeze into the smallest of places to try and disguise himself.

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PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 21:44

It's quite common where I work for relationships to be going on. From what I gather are affairs going on left right and centre, people actually gf / bf, all sorts. I haven't been made aware of having to declare anything though?. . But there is nothing to declare, it was one date!

I last messaged, so not going to chase / hassle him! Will just leave it I think for now. Carry on as normal at work and remain professional. I'm not the one hiding from people lol

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PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 22:24

I'm a bit worried because he knows where I reside?!

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BedTimeNow · 19/02/2016 22:30

Purple, calm down!

you've done nothing wrong, just carry on as you were at work. It's his problem not yours.

Slowdecrease · 19/02/2016 22:53

I think he's effectively avoiding what he might perceive as drama by avoiding you as he's obviously not considering pursuing anything with you. I wouldn't analyse it further - if you want to point out he's being a bit rude thats reasonable but I think further than that - shit happens, he is behaving like it never happened and you dont know each other/need to speak perhaps go the same?

PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 22:53

BedTimeNow

I've never been in said situation before . .so it's all a bit odd to me. But this is the first and last time I EVER get involved with anyone @ work. I just didn't expect the behaviour that he's doing. But will remain professional, continue to do me, and hold my head up, as lik you and many others have said, I've done nothing wrong :)

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PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slowdecrease · 19/02/2016 23:06

Yeh it's absolutely a cowards way but what are you going to do? You can't change his reactions and its surely not worth another minute of your thinking time. I have a friend in exactly the same position as you, and the guy is doing exactly the same..looking right through her...what can you do? You can't make someone want to talk to you after intimacy and you haven't done anything wrong at all it is what it is.

PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 23:12

Slowdecrease

I didn't go into it expecting it to flourish into something . .I literally just thought see what happens . . even if things didn't work out, I would have still wanted to remain at least on friend terms as he's a cool guy, who I bounced off quite a bit. But I guess that's something I'll just have to leave go and get on with my life . .and do the same back - look right through him!!

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choceclair123 · 19/02/2016 23:15

Just at him next time he goes past he'll probably shit himself

PurpleLilac2016 · 19/02/2016 23:18

choceclair123

Oh gawd - that really would set the cats amongst the pigeons! lol

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OutToGetYou · 19/02/2016 23:47

Sorry, what you've said doesn't make any sense. You say you'd be quite happy to ignore it but he's making a big deal by.....er.....ignoring it?

So, you went on one date, got frisky, now he's embarrassed and ignoring you.

So what? Move on. It's not the first time someone has behaved like this (you were all set to ignore him but he got in first and ignored you) and it definitely won't be the last!

PurpleLilac2016 · 20/02/2016 00:01

OutToGetYou

You've not understood what I've said!

What I mean is I am quite happy to ignore / brush under the carpet what has happened. HOWEVER what I didn't expect from him was the point blank being ignored, like he did. That is what I don't get! Why send someone mixed signals? Like I said elsewhere I wasn't expecting for it to go somewhere, I was open to see what would happen. I haven't hassled the guy, I've simply left him alone.

Why would he be embarrassed by it? If that's the case, then he should have put a stop to it! End of! And I couldn't care less that you think he's beaten me to it by ignoring me! That in the slightest doesn't bother me. Christ, he hasn't responded to my message from during the week, bothered? No! I could be the complete opposite and be blowing up his phone looking for answers and etc, but no, I've simply just left it, and am moving /getting on with my life. All I'm a bit miffed about is that I didn't expect the behaviour he's doing considering how things went on during the date, and how we got on @ work! That is all.

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PurpleLilac2016 · 20/02/2016 00:03

OutToGetYou

. .It's like a switch from one person to another in the space of 7 days!!!! That is what my brain is struggling to compute right now!!!

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Clarathemagnificent · 20/02/2016 00:15

You are way too invested in this and you say he's the one making a big deal out of it! You went on one date, he asked you on a second but has since changed his mind. Move on.

314Romaniac · 20/02/2016 00:20

Awkward indeed. I'd think about catching him on his own for twenty seconds and saying ''right, i don't want ignoring each other to be noticeable so I'm going to continue to behave normally around you.''

He does sound like an immature knob though.

leghoul · 20/02/2016 02:24

But he hasn't ignored you. He sounds reasonable and mature and getting on with work when he should be. If he were ignoring you, he wouldnt have said hi and waved. Looking you in the eye without saying anything, phwoar what's wrong with that?
Expecting him to say hi all the time is really immature, high maintenance, overthinky and not professional. I think before you drive him off with bunny boiler vibes, or even before you feel the need to clear the air, let it just rest for a while. Say hi or smile in an acknowledgement, polite, way, but not repeatedly. Don't walk past him for no reason. Don't expect more than one hi every few days. Get on with your work. Remain professional at all times, and whatever happens, be sure to have your dignity intact.

Fratelli · 20/02/2016 07:14

Fgs he said hello and waved. He clearly didn't ignore you. I don't say hello every time a colleague walks into the room having already said it. I wouldn’t get any work done! You keep saying you're not bothered but you obviously are. Calm down.

PurpleLilac2016 · 20/02/2016 09:42

I closed this thread, why are people still commenting????

How can I lick / have this thread deleted / removed???

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PurpleLilac2016 · 20/02/2016 09:44

Also, Fratelli, leghoul, you've completely MISSED the point of what I've been saying. But I'm just leaving it now.

Thank you everyone for contributing to the post.

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CharlieSierra · 20/02/2016 09:53

You can't close the thread.

You have posted on an anonymous forum asking for opinions. People have responded.

I agree with leghoul.

pocketsaviour · 20/02/2016 10:05

I'm a bit worried because he knows where I reside?!

What, now you think he's a potential murderer?

PurpleLilac2016 · 20/02/2016 10:06

charliesierra

I read s post last night someone had their thread removed!?......

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