it's like he's ruined my excitement

[hurtandconfued2016]

Hi bit of background
Ex left 6 weeks ago due to go in to hospital in 1 week to have our daughter.
Any way I am struggling to get excited about her birth. I can't even look at the baby's clothes without crying. I couldn't bring myself to get the hospital bags ready my mum did. The thought of everything that should be a happy moment isn't I just can't face it! Everyone keeps asking about names and everything else but I can't even come to pick her name! My ex has now told me he won't be coming to the birth as he can't stand to be near me. He also said he only got me pregnant to make me think he loved me all I can think about is how she is unwanted by her father and how awful I feel about her arrival. I don't know what to do???

With regards to the birth certificate if he wants to be on it he can come if he doesn't want to come then he won't be on it!

Any time I try to explain to him that rather than going thru his parents to discuss our children we should sort it out ourselfs he just tells me well your stopping me seeing my children then. So to me it's like he is making obstacles and blaming me for it!
As for the money side of things when he first left we spoke about money and the house and things like that and we seemed to be on the same page then when the relationship started he started throwing money in my face every time I seen him. We had agreed that he would pay the mortgage and I would look after the kids feeding clothing and buying everything else for them but apparently he seems to think the kids are free!!

What a nasty bastard he is. He's trying to control every aspect of the situation. You be strong for you and your babies. Let your family and friends help you as much as they can.

What you are feeling is 100% normal, so dont worry about that - you are grieving for the relationship that has gone (died)

You CAN get through this and you WILL get through this!

Can I ask you to retread goddessofsmallthings post at 22:36:22 and absorb it.

Start getting angry and put you and your children first. Ex is definitely an afterthought.

I have my moments where I am angry then I have moments like yesterday and today where I am physically and emotionally drained! My wee boy is unwell I am struggling with walking and that due to pregnancy and now I've started being sick to :( everything is just to much for me at the moment