Fed up with posting about the past and being ashamed of having a future, so...

[idontlikecrusts]

My OH hasn't even left the house (his fault not mine - less time wasted acting suicidal and more time spent looking for a flat, blah, blah, blah..) and I have been enjoying friendly msn chat with a very dear male friend from University days.

Well, said dear friend and I have realised we'd like to meet and that we probably would have liked to have got it on together back at Uni 12 years ago but didn't.

Is this madness? Part of me says it is VERY bad to jump from one situation to the next but I DO know him very well as we were very close friends at the time. The other part says why waste time when you've been so miserable for so chuffing long.

?

if OH is likely to be violent/ abusive if he found out, I would wait till he was long gone.

Sorry, I'm sure you could do with some fun right now, but it could turn bad...

I know and that is very true so this has all been kept very secret and sensible.

He knew I was having msn convos with this person before as I made contact with him ages ago with no intention (consciously) that it would turn out like this and until very recently all conversation has been 100 percent platonic. However, I have just been trying to protect my convo log as although there is nothing outrageous to read it could upset OH and I know what that could lead to.

The 'taking things forward' has been discussed in more discreet fashion.

I hate this, soo cannot wait for him to be gone and to stop having such a hold over my life.

I would personally wait until he has left the house. Sympathies though, as I am in a similar situation with my H & it's horrible.

We have agreed to just chat about stuff like camping and other non suspicious stuff.

But even if OH has gone by end of Jan would it be bad or stupid to act on this relationship so soon?

I love him as a friend and I cannot actually think WHY we didn't get together at college. We were in the same dorm and I spent night after night talking to him for hours.

He is a teacher, very kind, generous, full of life.

How do I make sure he doesn't turn out to be a nob? This all sounds ruddy pathetic but I am already divorced once and have 3 children with two fathers - I'm not good at this.

you can only do what feels right at this moment - thinking about the future is very important but you cant let your past rule your future.

Take everything steady and it will turn good in the end.