Feel like everything everything is going wrong

[poppetsocks]

My dad has just been diagnosed with cancer, he's also been very ill with parkinsons disease, rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia for many years so this is a very worrying time, my mum has also been ill with stress and has other health issues. I have been finding work difficult as I am expected to cover another shift in the event of absence but have trouble with childcare sometimes although I always try to cover and have now been told that if I cant cover in the future I should look for another job, (this is the first time i have not covered this year) I have raised a grievance about this and now am dreading the meeting. Also there is an awful atmosphere at work as the person I am supposed to cover for has fallen out with me, I have tried to sort things out but it's not helped. I just feel so stressed, can't sleep and keep bursting into tears.

Meant to say it's the first time I've not covered in a year, not this year

hello, I'm so so sorry...

It sounds terrible and stressful what you're going through.

Sometimes, when I can't sleep because of anxiety, I play one of those meditation videos on youtube - something like this:

It might sound silly, but some of these videos actually work for me. If you can sleep just a bit, and make sure you eat, it might help a bit...

Sorry I can't offer anything else, but I hope things get better.

Thanks I will have a look at that and see if it works for me could. Do with something.

It does sound extremely stressful (and unfair). I think the other poster is correct in that you simply need to be able to think about something else to give your mind a rest - I don't like them myself but those colouring books? Making a cake (of course if you do that every night there are other results!), going for a run... do you knit / sew / cook / like exercise / read? there must be so many apps - go through the app store and try a few free ones that appeal, have a bath and hope you can deal with everything else a bit better? With the work situation I find it helps me to think about what is the worst that can happen - 'X will dislike me immensely' , 'i lose my job' and they aren't great outcomes but I find it easier to have visualised them so they are less scary, isn't everyone's cup of tea I know!

Before all this I was doing a fitness DVD and running but can't find the motivation to do anything although I know if I could get back into it I would sleep much better and it would take my mind off things. At the moment I seem to have time only to worry. I have constant butterflies and I feel awful. I have a fantastic supportive husband but think even he is getting tired of me talking about it all . keep thinking I should take sick leave from work but also think that would be playing into their hands and wouldn't do me any favours , but the thought of going in and the atmosphere is horrible.

Do you have someone at work you can inform of your situation? Is your boss sympathetic? It might be useful to give work a heads up about what is going on in your life...

I know what you mean about only having time to worry. I sometimes set myself tiny goals to make myself do something else in the day, which helps - like if you made yourself run / do your dvd for only 10 minutes a day. That sounds, and is, more achievable than doing a 5 mile run or whatever you normally do...can you try that?

Oh - and your grievance case - it sounds like they were being unfair when they said that and they probably have more to worry about than you. Do you have a union / someone who can advise you on how these things go?

No I'm not in a union. My parents know somebody who is a union leader so am hoping to get some advice from them. My manager knows my situation but it was him who told me to look for another job if it didn't fit in with my lifestyle! This was because I couldn't cover on this one occasion because I had no childcare that day. I think what the problem is, is that although I know I have a case for raising a grievance I have little confidence in myself and start to doubt I've done the right thing. I'm worried my working life is going to get so much worse now and the worry over that and my dads health and the worry of ever being asked to cover again in case I have no childcare that day is playing on my mind continuously. I have worked there for almost 12 years and have always felt walked over there and this is the first time I've really stood up for myself. I think I just feel strangevdoing it and a bit scared of what the outcome will be.

You are covering for absence but work is causing you to be stressed.

You need to go to a gp not to get pills if you don't want them (although discuss all options) but to record how stressed you are. Then if you have hr you need to let them know that demands on you above your working hours for others absence is making you ill

You really need to get the gp appointment in before your meeting - hr too. You only need another job because they are being twats to you but if you can't cope with changing (and sounds like it would be a good idea) then make it clear that this is constructive dismissal

You are having a meeting because you can't cover for someone else being away?! That's so stupid don't let them get away with being unfair to you

Twats!

So annoyed on your behalf! N please have

Thanks everyone Yoyoyopo that sounds like a good idea, will make an appointment for this week, as much as i could do with time off I know this would cause a lot of trouble as there are duties only I do which would leave them in the lurch and not help my cause in the long run. although it's tempting at the moment to not care about that, but having it noted by the doctor sounds like a good idea. it's boosted my confidence a little to see that others agree that i have been treated unfairly, think I just need to woman up a bit and be as hard faced as them,,,,it's hard though. Thanks for the flowers