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Original poster

AIBU - the groundrules for a short term affair

33 replies

lostbutnotinspace · 14/02/2016 17:10

I say affair but neither of us are attached or married, but for practical reason which can't be avoided (to do with my children and me being here only for a short time due to a job posting) we have a complicated situation.

We like each other, no chance at all of a future, absolutely none, and we have probably six months. We are both on dating sites (how we met) and we'd both intended a short term thing.

It's caused a lot of upset though, because I know he still chats with /talk to other women and looks for potentials. We're not in a committed relationship but we have agreed to be together for the six months we have.

AIBU to ask him to take down (temporarily) his dating profiles and enjoy the six months with me if that is what he says he wants? He says I am.

I feel like I can't keep feeling like any day now that he meets someone else who can give him permanency so it's stopping me from relaxing and enjoying the six months. And sucking away all the romance too.

Am I wrong? I know I might be, but it hurts to know he is still shopping an can't jst "take a break" for the six months to be with me. Not to make the thread too long but I have made numerous sacrifices to enable us to have this six months and be together and I feel like he is giving nothing and it says it all?

OP posts:
MatrixReloaded · 15/02/2016 01:50

I absolutely cannot understand why you have referred to this as an affair.

IamlovedbyG · 15/02/2016 03:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Doingmyheadin2016 · 15/02/2016 07:46

You can set all the ground rules you like but if he doesn't agree with them there is not a lot of point. It sounds like you are on different pages and it is a slightly odd situation anyway. I would leave it if I were you as you are not going to get what you want.

BoboChic · 15/02/2016 07:50

You want him to commit to exclusivity with you for six months only because that's what suits your agenda. What's in it for him?

TheNaze73 · 15/02/2016 08:21

I would move on now. I think you're both singing from very different hymn sheets. The first 6 months of a relationship for me would be just that, getting to know each other & testing the water. If I had someone giving me ultimatums & rules as such an early stage, I'd walk & perhaps he should?? I think you're looking at square pegs in round holes here

blindsider · 15/02/2016 09:53

I really don't see what the problem is, he has outlined to you how its going to be for the next 6 months all you need to do is work out whether that is something you can live with. Simples.

Kiwiinkits · 15/02/2016 17:26

How old are you? Because star crossed lover bullshit should end after your teens and early 20s.... He's just not that into you, so move on! It really is that simple. You're twisting yourself into complicated knots.

SugarDiabetes · 16/02/2016 20:29

I had a 6 month fling with a wonderful man who was emigrating. We had both come out of long term relationships and neither wanted anything serious. However we were completely exclusive and very much together for those 6 months - I don't think I could have done it any other way.

it worked out really well, he stayed and married me

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