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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel a bit suffocated - is it over?

7 replies

WTAFF · 14/02/2016 11:11

Been together with my boyfriend for about two years. We have had ups and downs and I don't like certain aspects of him (as I'm sure he doesn't like certain aspects of me).

For example, he has slept with prostitutes in the past. I know everyone can make mistakes and we weren't together when this happened, but when I made him sit down and talk about what happened he didn't acknowledge that he had done anything wrong - this is apparently what happens on lads holidays and the poor women who he slept with were apparently happy. Hmm

Eventually, he did admit that he could see what he had done was wrong. The problem is I'm not sure if I beleive him that he wouldn't do it again.

He has also told me that he has been hurt in the past and that he will never allow another woman to get their claws into him.

On the other hand, we get on really well and he does seem to care about me when we are together.

However, he complains that we don't spend enough time together. We spend five days a week together and we always have date night once a week.

He says I'm not making any effort with him. However, what I've found is that he will only do stuff that he wants to do - if I suggest something he won't do it.

We had plans to go for a walk today but I don't feel very well as I've been up all night with cold plus it's blooming snowing. He is now in the huff with me and is ignoring my texts (we don't live together).

im just beginning to feel a bit suffocated by his demands for my time. My friends are slipping away as are my hobbies because I don't have time to do them anymore.

sorry for the long post but I'm just not sure what to do.

OP posts:
Sighing · 14/02/2016 11:15

You know what to do. A relationship should allow you both to pursue your life/ interests and grow and thrive and enjoy (most) time together.
It sounds as though he's the one "with his claws in" (I hate that phrase). But he sounds stiffling! I'd have to run.

ouryve · 14/02/2016 11:16

I'd say it is.

He's not making you happy and you're unable to completely trust him. Not a good recipe for a long future together.

MyKingdomForBrie · 14/02/2016 11:20

This doesn't sound right, if you don't live together 5 days a week is plenty, it sounds like he wants you to be completely about him and nothing else.

Revive the friends and hobbys and cut back on the bf. He sound very down on you which is not good.

TheNaze73 · 14/02/2016 13:34

I think it's all about individual preference. As a bloke, I personally respect everyone's need for space & all relationships for the want of a better expression, need to breathe. Maybe persuade him to get a hobby? Sounds like he could be using you to fill the bored void?? Think this happens with both sexes as there are plenty of time needy woman out there too. Just be honest & direct with him. Blokes can't do subtle. Wink Good luck

Marchate · 14/02/2016 13:42

Keep your own life close to your heart. It's precious and one day you'll be glad. Friends & hobbies are too easily dropped, but difficult to re-connect with later

pocketsaviour · 14/02/2016 15:35

Way too possessive. Bin him off now!

Guiltypleasures001 · 14/02/2016 17:51

If you don't live together then dodge this bullet and go and enjoy your life, he sounds like a soul sucking kill joy, oh and tantruming toddler when not getting his way.

Seriously life's to short don't waste anymore of it on him Wine

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