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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lying about having an affair??

9 replies

OllieG · 28/12/2006 22:53

Me and DH have always had a pretty turbulant relationship and a few months ago we hit a particular rocky patch. One night we got a few drinks in, hoping to relax and talk and he started acting odd, saying strange things about what it would like for each of us to go our seperate ways and to have new relationships etc...we joked about it and I jokingly asked him if he had anyone in mind, I told him I was no longer bothered if he had (which was a lie) and he started acting sheepish and said "well...sort of.." I dug a bit futher and eventually get told me that he'd been seeing a girl from work, a 17 year old student.
Anyway it all blew up, I hated him, called him every name under the sun (especially as I was 7 months pregnant at the time), he saw how devesated I was, he saw me trying to kill myself (already suffering with depression so didnt need this on top, feel awful now because of the baby but wasnt thinking straight at the time)...we actually split up over it, I moved out etc.

Anyway, now he decides nothing happened really, it was all just a lie to get something happening in our relationship??? he's very convincing when he says this...why would anyone lie though? especially when they see the devestation caused why would they then not own up?? why only own up after the other person no longer cares what happened? We're back together and I said I beleieve him but I don't, I don't understand it and I can't just let it go, why would you lie about being unfaithful like that??

OP posts:
Carmenere · 28/12/2006 22:56

Sounds like he is just re-writing history to make him sound good. trust your instincts.

SparklyXmasKat · 28/12/2006 22:56

dh did this too, we split up when DS was a baby, apparently he had slept with another girl while we were on a trail separation, I was devastasted, hated him for it, anyway we got back together and about a year ago he told me that it was a lie!!!!! Still don;t know what to believe tbh...

HappyDaddy · 29/12/2006 00:27

Yeah right, if it wasn't true he wouldn't have admitted it. No way on earth any sane bloke would make up a lie like that, not if they liked their balls anyway.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 29/12/2006 00:30

Indeed HappyDaddy.

Why did you get back together with him?

expatinscotland · 29/12/2006 00:31

Afraid I'm going to have to agree w/HD.

He's telling porkies.

justaquestion · 29/12/2006 00:33

they are emotional abusers, who even dont care about their children-saying such stuff when youre pregnant-thats horrible.

DeepPann007 · 29/12/2006 00:41

And I said I believe him but I don't. ???

expatinscotland · 29/12/2006 00:43

So basically, you're both lying to each other.

Sounds like a recipe for a stable, healthy relationship.

3xamum · 29/12/2006 02:06

I guess the question is can you work through it if he is lying?

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