Ive been with DH since 2002 got married in 2004. 3 DCs (age 11 next week, 8 and 4). There is no-one else.
I love him, he's my best friend, but Im not in love with him. I want to leave, but Im scared.
My reasons to stay are because its the easier (for now) option, Im scared of breaking my DCs heart and my parents (and no doubt others too) would judge.
I have thought about waiting until we come back from holidays as the DCs are really looking forward to going, but I feel as though that would be unfair to DH. How do I even tell him? Im just so scared.
He's a SAHD while I work FT. The house isn't that nice. He doesnt do enough. My student houses were cleaner than this. We have junk everywhere. We have lived here 4 years (council house) and still have no carpet or flooring down in our bedroom or the stairs. He never wants to do anything as a family. He sits and plays on his PS4 or Xbox during times (when I think) he should be doing more. Like the afternoons he will pick DC3 up from nursery (she was 4 in Sept so not at school yet) and will spend the afternoon playing call of duty or assassin's creed and the like.
He has used the DCs as an excuse not to work. Looking back I wish I had the strength to call it a day when he lied about why he couldnt get a job. This was before DCs, but we lived together and I was scared of the pain of a break-up so I ignored it. Why did I ignore it? he was signing on, but stopped when they wanted him to go on a back to work style course. This also was before DCs. I knew then he wasn't looking. But a 23YO me turned a blind eye. Why?
He swears in front of the DCs. They are good because they know which words are adult words. But that's not the point. He has done it when out and we've had the odd raised eyebrow. He can get too angry and makes empty threats.
Of course Im painting a negative view because Im finding it hard to see past that ATM. We all have our bad points. He does all the cooking and he does clean, just the surface stuff. He is learning to drive so he can get a job once DC3 starts school in Sept, but I honestly dont think he will get a job. He will find some other excuse when the time comes.
It would be so easy to plod along, but I dont really relish the idea of this for another X years.
Am I just having a marriage wobble as it has been a few years now so obviously not exciting anymore.
Where do I go from here? Im so scared. Ive never been through a big break up before. DH was my first serious relationship. The only one that has lasted longer than 6 months. Will my children hate me? Im going to break their hearts.
Sorry it is so long, I didn't want to drip feed. Though Im sure (as what often happens on threads I start) someone will ask me about something Ive not thought of.