Wasn't sure whether to post this in health or relationships. Guess from my point of view the relationship side of things is the primary thing.
Christmas Day my mum handed me a present and told me to open it carefully. Inside there was a kitchen towel carboard tube with a piece of paper inside. I pulled it out and printed on the paper was a certificate from our local hospital stating that she was officially now a non-smoker and it was signed and dated by a medical professional. Mum sat with tears in her eyes telling me how she had done so well for nearly seven weeks and had been going to see this "person" every Friday for the past few weeks and she had kept it a secret so that she could give us all a lovely surprise for christmas. I told her that was good and that I hoped that she would stick to her word.
That's fantastic I can hear you all say. But even when she did all this above I had my doubts and found it very hard to be pleased and to wish her well. I have my reasons for this and valid ones at that.
Mum has always been a smoker since her early teens so I totally understand that it's going to be hard for her and she will need all the support we as family can give her. But, when I gave birth to dd1, I told mum that dd and anymore children that I planned to have would not be staying with her for long visits/sleepovers if she continued to smoke indoors. It was difficult to tell her what she should do in her own home. but they were my children. Iny any case, my step dad was ill with bronchitis and smoking near him, as far as I'm concerned, was unacceptable anyway.
Don't get me wrong here - I'm no angel myself, have been known to have a couple of cigarettes myself on a night out when drinking.
She promised me that she wouldn't smoke near or around the children and I believed her, very stupidly, but everytime I went round to pick up the kids the next day. Their clothes and hair would stink of nicotine. I asked her why and she would deny being around them and that if she had smoked she would have gone out the garden.
This is why I feel so uncertain about her capability to give up - certificate from hospital or not.
My sister has even been cross with me in my inability to be pleased with mum and her really good effort of giving up for seven weeks, she hasn't gone past three days before. Currently she is wearing a patch and has a little plastic tube which she inhales when absolutely necessary. One drag on this tube and it makes her cough.
Today I spoke to my auntie on the phone and she asked me if I had spoken to mum. I hadn't but said I was going to call her afterwards. Apparently mum had phoned her sister today and told her that when my stepdad was napping this afternoon she sneaked into the back garden for a sneaky cigarette, went dizzy and fell over and banged her nose. Not really surprising when she has enough nicotine going into her system already.
I called mum straight after I spoke to my auntie and never mentioned what my auntie had said. I thought I would wait for her to say something to me but she never said a thing. I put the phone down and have felt very since to think that she should emotionally tell us all that on xmas day and then yet again, lie.
Sorry to ramble but I am feeling really hurt right now.