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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

92 year old aunt's "friend"

40 replies

Spickle · 12/02/2016 10:04

I hope that this is in the correct section - apols if not.

Here we go...

My elderly aunt (92) is being cared for by her neighbour (let's call him 'Freddy', 84) which on the face of it is great given that the aunt is quite a way away from family and to be fair he does go round every day and called the ambulance when she had a bad turn etc etc. So far so good. However as you might imagine this is where things start taking a different turn... aunt has changed her Will to leave the majority of her estate to 'Freddy'. Again while it may put a few noses out of joint, I know it's her money/estate, she can do what she likes. The issue is it, potentially, then becomes a little more murky. Not only has 'Freddy' got power of attorney and is now trying to stop her family from talking to/seeing her ("she's upset and doesn't want to talk to/see you. I've got P.o.A. and I don't want to talk to you"), again not proof positive and it could be genuine. She does appear to be confused as it was she who told my mum that she was changing her Will and that he had Power of Attorney and then denied it (though does appear to be true). There are other things she has forgotten or has back tracked on, even though up until recently she was of sound mind. Freddy seems to have moved into her home, even though his own home is only a few doors away. The issue is that he has got previous with this (which was known), he became friendly with a widow, looked after her and was left a healthy sum and my family has now found out he'd actually done this to yet another widow prior to this and had a major falling out with that late lady's family... unfortunately, we have no names and no idea how to trace anyone connected to these ladies.

Now I am not and have never expected to gain from her Will, but my mum (86) is her only surviving sibling and is pretty upset that her sister has put her trust in this man who she has known as a neighbour for many years but not known him well until around two years ago when his previous lady friend died. Because he is 84 years old himself, we are aware that if her estate passes to him, it won't be too long before it passes to his next of kin, his two children, who we don't know from Adam. My aunt has quite a few nephews and nieces, as well as her sister (my mum), but does not have a husband (long ago passed away) or children. Now she has fallen out with her only remaining sibling "I told you in confidence", except it was a niece she told, not her sibling) and these suspicions are floating around like a bad smell. The question obviously is what, if anything, can be done. We think that aunt is fully compos mentis but who knows....

Any advice?

Apologies for long post......

OP posts:
ABetaDad1 · 12/02/2016 14:06

I have just signed a POA for the family of an old lady that lives next door to me. I know her and all three of her children who are on the POA.

My DW and BIL have POA for my MIL.

Spickle - it is relatively easy to get a POA with a naieve or dishonest witness signing it. The thing is they do have to have known the person for two years so I am wondering who Freddy got to sign the POA. It may be easiest to dislodge him by showing the witness did not genuinely know your mother. Also the POA document requires the witness to vouch that the person who is getting POA does not have undue influence and that MIL is of sound mind and has the mental capacity to know what she is doing.

The Office of the Public Guardian is your first port of call. It is their duty to help you.

ScarletBegonias · 12/02/2016 15:18

You do not need to inform relatives if the Donor (OP aunt) has not asked for them to be notified. You would need two certificate providers instead.

I think you'll find you only need one certificate provider for an LPA these days. Can be either someone who's known the donor personally for at least 2 years or someone with relevant professional skills; but you don't need both.

Like others, I hope the OP's situation gets sorted out satisfactorily very soon.

51howdidthathappen · 12/02/2016 15:23

Possibly changed since it went digital. I know the processs became easier.

ScarletBegonias · 12/02/2016 16:02

Yes, 51 - I think it has all been simplified a bit recently. Which I was glad of when I had to apply for attorney status under an LPA which has just been registered in the last week or so. But I do have sympathy with your view that it may be a bit too easy now.

Hope your mum's case goes well in the court of protection and that it doesn't take too long (or get too expensive!)

51howdidthathappen · 12/02/2016 16:20

Thank you Scarlet it could be a very long process.

LPA is a good idea in principle, but it does rely on honesty. I know, only too well, that the safeguards are not robust enough, to stop the dishonest.

Spickle · 12/02/2016 20:08

Thank you for all the helpful responses. We have set the ball rolling with social services and have tried to speak to the solicitor who set up the POA. He wasn't available so I've sent an email setting out our concerns.

Freddy has known my aunt for over two years - she met him at a social club many years ago when he was with the previous lady and they discovered that they lived in the same road about 10 houses apart. Tbh he was just an acquaintance then, he has honed in on her following the death of his lady friend and now my aunt is 92 and very frail, she relies on him to care for her and is not listening to her family's suspicions about his motives.

I haven't seen the POA but my cousin is also a POA and she said something about it being "jointly and severally", which seems to mean that Freddy doesn't have to refer anything to my cousin. I don't know if it's been registered, but will contact the Office of Public Guardian next week. My aunt, as far as I know, has been of sound mind up to now. I don't know if I can get a copy of the POA.

OP posts:
51howdidthathappen · 12/02/2016 21:27

My sister got a copy of my mother's LPA. My mother's POA has completely cut us out of her life. It is a very powerful document. The OPG are utter crap in my opinion. Hence the Court of protection, who I except to be equally crap.

If your Aunt's LPA is not registered you can object, but only on prescribed grounds.

Spickle · 13/02/2016 13:34

I don't know if the POA has been registered and will try to find out on Monday. Some of the things said above are truly scary and very worrying that unscrupulous people take advantage like this.

OP posts:
ScarletBegonias · 13/02/2016 13:52

Spickle - if you google "OPG100" you'll find a short form you can fill in, asking OPG whether an LPA has been registered. It just needs your basic identity details plus those of the donor.

You can try speaking to OPG but I suspect they'll simply invite you to fill in the form and post it to them. In my experience they're pretty thorough but not exactly speedy.

Good luck with getting things sorted out!

Spickle · 13/02/2016 13:57

Thank you ScarletBegonias - will do that!

OP posts:
Spickle · 13/02/2016 14:10

Mooey89 thank you for the offer of pm'ing you - will see what next week brings and may need your advice then!

OP posts:
Spickle · 13/02/2016 14:16

MrsJayy yes, Freddy did benefit from his last lady friend - seem to remember a figure of around £30k, but whether that was a small portion of the estate or a large portion, I don't know. I do know that the house she lived in turned out to belong to her brother so was not up for grabs when she passed away.

OP posts:
51howdidthathappen · 13/02/2016 14:54

spickle I am really not trying to scare you. Every situation will be different.
I probably shouldn't go into details regarding my mother's situation. Hopefully an exception to the rule.

Good luck on Monday. Please keep us updated.

honeyroar · 13/02/2016 19:43

The Altzheimers society forum would be good for advice on issues like this. I seem to remember reading something like this before and I think it was there.

MrsJayy · 13/02/2016 20:38

Freddy has form for preying on women what a git

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