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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Pain of Facebook

16 replies

Angieyy1 · 09/02/2016 23:28

So I had a night with the girls and it came up that my ex of only 6 weeks had changed his profile picture.....

They decided to take him down as friends.... As he has already blocked me......

But he'd already deleted them as friends.... So sure enough I went on it .... He's added 2 women..... Very pretty and his ex had liked his profile picture ....

The ex who walked out on him after 1 year just disappeared wouldn't take his calls or answer the door to him...

In the 2 years we have never been together as she ever liked any of his pictures .

So yes pretty much stabbed in the heart and feel sick .

2 years he's cut me off like I never meant anything to him .... Pictures all gone .... I can't even go on fb as I have all his family on there and pics ...

Now my mind is working over time wondering if hes seeing one of them

I was struggling as it was and this well as just absolutely thrown me back ...

I so wanted to text him but I didint what good would it do except for me to look like a stalker.

That feeling of knowing he's now coming back and he's cut me out of his life and is ok and I can't even eat or sleep and my clothes are dropping off of me .....

He's such a good guy everyone thinks he's amazing....

OP posts:

Slowdecrease · 09/02/2016 23:40

Its harsh but he's done the best possible thing by blocking you and your friends. It will ultimately help you move on as you have no other choice but to. It will fade but you have to employ the out of sight out of mind mantra as he is doing.

Original poster

Angieyy1 · 09/02/2016 23:53

It's easier for him he didn't want me anymore.... I still want him... I'm laid in bed I feel physically sick ...... X

OP posts:

MyKingdomForBrie · 09/02/2016 23:55

It's easier for him but it will happen for you. Just keep distracting your self and as you say do not text him.

Original poster

Angieyy1 · 10/02/2016 00:02

I won't .... It will achieve nothing .... Iv humiliated myself theses last 2 weeks enough ...... I'm hurt but in away it's made me take a step back as I'm pouring my heart out to him and watching my sons eyes fill up with tears when I had to tell him it was over ...he's becoming friends with girls .... That just shows he has no respect for me at all wether he added them or they added him he still accepted ....

I know he doesn't love me he's told me but I guess deep down you kind of hope they didn't mean it but he did x

OP posts:

TheVeganVagina · 10/02/2016 03:55

Breakups are hard op.
How old are your ds?
Try to focus on your beautiful dc.

madwomanbackintheattic · 10/02/2016 04:16

It sounds like the best possible thing he could have done, as you were obviously struggling to realize he meant it. It's hard, but stop torturing yourself by stalking him, and losing your dignity by begging. He's not worth any more time or energy. Look forwards, not back, etc etc etc.

Distraction, and concentrate on you and ds for now.

Original poster

Angieyy1 · 10/02/2016 07:07

He's 13 ..... Is that stalking ? Looking once in 6 weeks ?

OP posts:

category12 · 10/02/2016 08:21

For your own good, adjust your settings on Facebook so his family/friends don't see what you do and so that you don't see them, or remove them as friends or block them.

The ex will move on and there is no timescale he has to follow, so you have to protect yourself by not looking or guessing, just let it go. Let yourself have some time to cry about it, but you will pick yourself up, you have your dc and there is more to life than some bloke.

Original poster

Angieyy1 · 10/02/2016 08:52

I completely understand everything been said but .... Some people are not as strong as others ....and I guess the way we handle things shows your character ..... I guess it shows im weak and struggle with letting go and moving on and maybe acceptance......

OP posts:

redfox2015 · 10/02/2016 09:04

Doesn't make you weak at all, what you are feeling is perfectly natural. Put some distance on FB, delete his people, if it turns out they were truly your friends too, you can invite them back later - they will understand why you've done it.
Good luck and huggs

Howdowedotthis · 10/02/2016 09:04

You're not weak, he's clearly not a nice person! He sounds as if he's a complete arsehole, don't beat yourself up! He's blocked you, shows he can't deal with seeing what you are doing without him!

Costacoffeeplease · 10/02/2016 09:06

You have split up, he is a single man, he can see people, add people on Facebook, whatever he wants - as can you

It's not a matter of being weak or strong, it's being practical and realistic, you have to come to terms with it, there is no other option.

When I'm feeling really bad about something I tell myself that at some point in the future I'll be over it/it won't matter so I might as well make that day today and cut out the heartache inbetween - it might sound simplistic but it does help

forumdonkey · 10/02/2016 09:43

I understand you are hurt and everything is painful and raw but you really aren't helping yourself. If he's blocked you on FB, you wouldn't see his profile, so you have had to use someone elses account to look. You are determined to keep those wounds open and rub a shit load of salt in them. If you want to feel like this forever, ignore all advice and keep doing what you are doing. I am concerned how consumed you are by this and the effect it is having on your son. A teenager shouldn't be this emotional and crying over a boyfriend of 2 years who didn't even live with you. I worry his emotions are tied up with you and your reaction.

lazymoz · 10/02/2016 10:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Haventgotascooby · 10/02/2016 11:06

Facebook can be awful when it comes to dealing with a broken heart but you've been given some good advice on here. Come off of facebook for a while and stop torturing yourself. It sounds like he's done you a favour by blocking you and your friends - in fact what a massive ego he has by thinking that everyone you know is going to be so interested in him and his profile! Be flattered he thinks you all care. Let him get on with it. Meanwhile try and start taking care of yourself... getting yourself together and being happy will be two fingers up to him.

Original poster

Angieyy1 · 10/02/2016 11:23

My son was upset I think because we were so involved with his family and his children and that's gone for him .... I hadnt mentioned it or talked about it again infront of him ....

I guess I can be a little obsessive by nature but I'm normally ok untill stressed or anxious and I'd only gone on it as my friend said she was going to delete him I'd never mentioned him untill another friend said he's posted a picture the other day and then bam yes I wanted to see it and used her phone to look ....

I'm am taking all your advice on board .... It's sinking in and becoming more realistic now I guess it will take some time x

OP posts:

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