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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Siblings at Christmas time (ours not the kids!!). Am I the only one who is driven nuts by her siblings?

30 replies

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 27/12/2006 09:06

The other rant thread seems all to be about older relatives at Xmas, but half of mine are dead and the other half are nearly 80.

It's my siblings who drive me nuts. Don't want to go into it all as I type very slowly and would still be typing on New Years Eve.

Has anyone else got issues with their siblings and can type fast enough to share?

OP posts:
snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 27/12/2006 09:16

so does everone out there get on great with their siblings then?

OP posts:
mummymic · 27/12/2006 09:20

hi - sorry i get on well with my siblings (taken 30 years to get on with my sister!!)
sorry you are having a crap time

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 27/12/2006 09:22

probably a lot due to the age gap as well, I'm the youngest by 13 years.

and we all live far apart, so only get together once in a blue moon.

but would really love a sibling close in age to me and close by us.

hope my boys are close when they are older.

OP posts:
mummymic · 27/12/2006 09:23

my advise is not to let them riun xmas - have fun with your family and ignore them if possible x

Hulababy · 27/12/2006 09:24

I am lucky too as get on well with my siblings (brother 16 months younger, sister 10 years younger), and Dh gets on well with his brother (3 years younger). We see my siblings on Christmas Eve, Boxing Day and then we will also see them on Friday. This is always with my parents. We are spending New Year with BIL.

wickedwinterwitch · 27/12/2006 09:25

I get on well with my 2 sisters but ONLY if

  • we don't discuss other family members, i.e. I try very hard not to talk about one to the other or to get involved in any bitching
  • I only offer my opinion if it's asked for

On that basis we get on fine.

glitterfairyonachristmastree · 27/12/2006 09:31

My sister has made my Christmas this year and in general I get on really well with both my siblings and we are very close. They have been towers of strength this year when everything has been so hard for me and the kids.

I cant imagine not getting on with my siblings it must be awful.

DimpledThighs · 27/12/2006 09:46

ha ha - I think I might be the only one who doesn't get on with her siblings. To be honest we get on great all year round - but I keep all my relationships seperate and don't go into what anyone else is doing. This is impossible at christmas and so I invariably end up livid with one of them.

This year my older sister is doing a big 'oh I hate the commercialisation of society' thing and came round to sneer at the presents under my tree. She has also upset my mum by arranging to see her on christmas dy and then dropping her for no good reason. Then her and her dp shouted at my dc for eating their cousin's sweets (he is 1, but he was giving them to them) and hooray - they are all coming here tomorrow for festive fun!

jellyhead · 27/12/2006 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pages · 27/12/2006 11:13

I used to think I get on well with all my siblings but the reality is that was a front and I realised that I really don't like my younger brother and his wife much. The one brother I do get on with is in Australia and the others aren't speaking to me so I have had a very peaceful Christmas and haven't missed them one bit!!

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 27/12/2006 19:19

glitter your post highlighted to me why I am upset at my siblings.

I don't get any support from them at all, with my kids or looking after my (our!!!) elderly mother. Mum is left to me and dh and they totally get on with their own kives and don't give her a moments notice (she's very frail, nearly 80 and lives alone).

But my sister especially treats me like I don't know anything whilst it's me doing all the work needing done.

OP posts:
themoon66 · 27/12/2006 19:35

God, don't get me started on this subject... Jeez. My sister? Where to start? Not spoken for just over 3 years now. I could type for a week and still not get the full story out onto MN.

jampots · 27/12/2006 19:48

our parents are dead and dh's parents live in Spain so my sisters are the only family who would possibly come and spoil the children at xmas. Traditionally I have them over on Boxing Day for drinking and fun (and nibbles). BIL turned up yesterday evening on the way home from work and by 8pm my older sister had arrived with her dh. I had to ask BIL if my sis was coming and he said "no". I asked if he was staying and he said "no" so as already had their presents from us I was a bit miffed that they hadnt bothered bringing hte presents for the children (and ourselves). They live about 15 miles away but had come pretty close to ours on xmas day without calling. So yes my sibling does piss me off. Plus they owe dh £40 for something which they asked him for a few weeks before xmas which we suspect is the real reason for not coming.

jampots · 27/12/2006 19:50

snowfunwhenyourknackered - this is my twin sister Im talking about - cant get any closer in age

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 27/12/2006 21:39

yes I know age doesn't have that much to do with it.

OP posts:
TheChristmasArmadillo · 27/12/2006 21:51

mine annoys me intensly but she isn't actively evil, just lazy and allowed to get away with a lot.

themoon66 · 27/12/2006 22:32

Mine has been trying to break my marriage up for as long as i can remember. She is jealous and bitter IMO. She now uses my own DD to get at me by texting her on the sly etc. Grrrr.

allnearlyoverforanotheryear · 28/12/2006 10:28

Oh God, now you've got me started. My two Sisters are 14 months apart in age (I came along after an 11 year gap) so you'd think they'd be close, and they once were, I think, but in recent months, the last year, let's say, their relationship has really begun to break down (and guess who's in the middle..) I think a lot of it stems from jealousy. One of them is very happily married, husband has good income, big house, holidays etc. The other sis is a single Mum, although she now has a bf who she's been with 8 months. The recent problems are to do with my (single Mum) Sister's treatment of her Son (9). He doesn't like her bf and rather than reassure him, and try to do whatever you would try to do to encourage the relationship between Son and bf, her way of dealing with it is to dump her Son on my Mum all the time (Mum recently had a stroke, but Sis is too selfish to care). This Sister has gone on holiday for a week with bf and our Dad and left her Son with Mum. It all kicked off yesterday because my Nephew let slip that my Sis, Dad and bf who all drink too much, had left Nephew in the house while they went to the pub. (The pub is a few doors down from her house, and they were gone 20 mins apparently) but it's still not acceptable behaviour. So my other Sister sent a text to Sis (Nephew's Mum) bf and Dad to say that they're all a fucking disgrace and it's just as well that Nephew hasn't gone on holiday with them. She got a return text telling her to fuck off and mind her own business. I got a text too (from Sis - Nephew's Mum) I know, confusing isn't it, saying You don't know what happened, I made a mistake, blah blah. Then she rang my Mum saying "they're(me and other Sis) aren't perfect parents either" basically trying to remove the onus from herself and her actions. Oh, I won't bore you all with it any more. God knows what's going to happen when she gets back from holiday. She said she's going to 'come down' on her Son for causing trouble. Poor kid, all he did was tell the truth. Apparently he was sat in the house crying, and when they got back after the 20 mins the bf called him a baby. My other Sister's right. They are a discrace. I can see my Mum or me or my other Sister ending up looking after my Nephew permanently.

allnearlyoverforanotheryear · 28/12/2006 10:35

Just had a read through the other posts. Seems like there are a lot of sibling problems, and concerning Sisters, not Brothers, interestingly. I think girls probably are worse at getting along with each other. Makes me glad that my DD has two Brothers and no Sisters! Gosh, Moon66 not spoken to her Sister for over 3 years. I can see that happening with my two Sisters. The Sister I mentioned in my post (Nephew's Mum) is a real problem, and the whole family have issues with her, and she gets away with murder, but I think things are on the change now, and the whole family is going to have to confront her behaviour and get her to act responsibly. She's sooo in denial though, it's stupid. My Dad is a shit. he hasn't bothered with me or my kids for ages and is now doing the same with my other Sister and her boys. He seems to think he's only got one Daughter, and it's the troublesome one.

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 28/12/2006 19:18

allnearlyoverforanotheryear, your post makes me want to cry.

my ds1 is 8 and a half and I'd never leave him alone in the house. I had to leave him once for about 2 minutes and when I came back he was really upset. Your sisters bf, saying he was a baby for crying , he sounds like a right B. I hope for your nephews sake he's taken off your sister and placed with someone who'll look after him properly.

This makes my family problems miniscule, I hate to hear of kids being badly treated.

OP posts:
FioFio · 28/12/2006 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CMJ · 28/12/2006 20:36

My sister (2 years older) totally pisses me off for various reasons and this has got worse since my Dad passed away in the Spring. She seems to think because she is older than me that my opinions (on my Mum's setup, welfare etc) dont really count.

She is selfish (with her time and efforts with my kids) and asks me questions about money and my finances etc regularly. None of her business quite frankly.

If it wasnt for the kids I could really see our relationship really ease off to a few vists a year. We live 45 mins drive away across London.

My Mum thinks we should enjoy our friendship and thinks we are close as siblings. I dont want to spoil her illusion of her daughters being so friendly though so I just keep an even keel with everyone.

My Mum I love to bits and is my number 1 priority and it pisses me off when my sister tried manipulate her.

As previusly mentioned in the posts as long as certain topics are avoided we get on ok at family socials but thats about it.

I prefer my brother's company and have a totally different friendship with him. I only see him a few times a year as we are at opposite ends of the country.

frenchconnection · 28/12/2006 21:14

Another one whose sister hasnt spoken to her for 3 years! its made worse by the fact we live in the same small town and always see each other in the shops, yet she walks away from me and my kids as if we are strangers!

themoon66 · 29/12/2006 13:09

Ah FrenchConnection... thankfully my sister and me live 200 miles or more apart.

themoon66 · 29/12/2006 13:11

TBH I really couldn't handle bumping into her like you do FC. Just hearing her voice on my answer phone makes me come over all shaky and trembly. She is such a bully and attacks me with little reason. going all shaky now just remembering - urgh

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