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Original poster

well wasn't that fun!

19 replies

AnguaVonUberwald · 26/12/2006 18:59

So, first time I have been home since being engaged and it didn't even get mentioned, until - as we were havinging cava with the christmas eve meal - an hour in - I said, hey, wouldn't it be nice if someone said congratulations to me and DP!! - hmmm - so they went, oh congratulations - that was it! - Later my dad (well step dad, but has been around since I was four) said - I am not interested in weddings, what pleasure do you get in dragging me to yours?

Oh yes, and my darling, darling mother, never piped up with anything about being actually interested in the wedding herself! [hmmm]

And then he said - you know I care about you and am proud of you, and when I said "no! How would I know that? - he said, oh I am never going to be able to tell you! you sound just like my first wife!

All then very awkward for christmas day, mother pretending all was ok, but in a very strained, martyr type way and we left, as early as possible this morning.

The whole thing gets to me, we only got engaged three months ago, hadn't seen any of them, except my mother, since we got engaged, hadn't even had a phone call from any of them with congratulations, and then they can't even mention it!

Sorry, just had to rant!

OP posts:
schnapps · 26/12/2006 19:03

How did your family find out that you got engaged? Could they be upset that you didn't tell them yourself?

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 26/12/2006 19:05

Oh no, afraid not, I texted all my siblings the day after. I did tell my dad - and he just told me marriage is a mistake!!

OP posts:
Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 26/12/2006 19:05

p.s. my sister got engaged three years ago, and my mother won't admit she is engaged as she is not keen on her boyfriend!! Nice, health family!!

OP posts:
Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 26/12/2006 20:03

OH well, needed to try and get it out of my system. Thing is, I think this is a biggie - not even worked it through in my head enough to write about it coherently!! Hmmm, will consume more alcohol!

OP posts:
PigeonPie · 26/12/2006 20:21

Poor you. It's really sad when families don't want to share your happiness. Have you set a date for the wedding? Are they likely to come to it anyway? Is it worth trying to repair things or is it better to go it alone with your dp? You have my sympathy anyway - keep your chin up

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 26/12/2006 20:46

Thanks Pigeon pie, we plan to get married in June (no fixed date yet) they probably will come, its just me having to face some hard realities about my family!

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 26/12/2006 20:58

Well, my family didn't say much when I got engaged and we were gobsmacked/horrified when my sister got engaged. Suspect some families just think that nobody is good enough for their sister/daughter, etc, and so react oddly. Perhaps that might be it?

WewishyouaXaviellichristmas · 26/12/2006 21:08

Well this is the first I have heard of it soooo.....

CONGRATULATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MerryChipmonkAndAHappyNewey · 26/12/2006 21:25

Anqua I'm Delighted for you! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!
{notice that Xavielli only gave you one congratulation, I'm giving you several!

PigeonPie · 26/12/2006 21:28

And sorry Angua, should have also said Congratulations

Mumpbump · 26/12/2006 21:31

Good point - CONGRATULATIONS, AVU!!

schnapps · 26/12/2006 21:37

Ooops, congratulations form me too!

How do your family get on with your fiance? Do they like him, or think you could do better (like lots of parents do)? Might they think that getting engaged is not such a big deal (ie not leading to marriage any time soon?) especially seeing as your sister has been engaged for 3 years?

Just thinking aloud as to why they don't seem particularly excited about it.

WewishyouaXaviellichristmas · 27/12/2006 01:12

Hehe, Sorry, only one per person on the congratulatory (lol, is that a word) front!

dasherdancerandvixen · 27/12/2006 01:41

congratulations!!

Its sad they cant just be happy for you.

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 27/12/2006 08:34

Thank you all very much for the congratulations!! . I am really happy and exited about it, planning a june wedding and I guess I just can't see why my family can't be a bit exited about it too.

Then again, I supose at least they admit I am engaged!!

OP posts:
Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 27/12/2006 08:37

Shnapps the words from my dad (step - but been around since I was 4)

were - I don't care about wedddings, and don't see what pleasure you would get in fourcing me to come to yours!!

And more stuff about how he was fourced to come to my graduation ceremony, doesn't care about my symbols (i.e. degree) etc!! All lots of fun!!

OP posts:
lemonstartree · 27/12/2006 17:43

when my dh and I got engaged my mothers response was 'we'll have to talk about that' ! I was 36 FFS!!!

CONGRATULATIONS I hope you have many happy years ahead of you

FrostyTheSnowMarsLady · 27/12/2006 17:49

Congratulations

Now be sure to share all the details of planning the wedding with us. We love a good wedding, first date, labour and birth on MN. (Not that I'm suggesting you do all of that just now lol).

Once again (for the cheap seats)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 27/12/2006 19:51

Thank you both very much! . I have to say, the response from mumsnet has helped offset my family's response.

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