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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

i just foud out im pregnant and now he's depressed

29 replies

telizabethm88 · 04/02/2016 16:25

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months and living together for 3 months now. I found out that I'm pregnant on the 22nd of January then on the 24 of January I lost my job because I made a minor mistake. This all has taken a toll on my boyfriend. He has asked me to terminate because this is a new relationship and having a baby will put a huge strain on the relationship. He promised that if I do and that if we were still together in a few years that we would try then. With all this talk it has made me cry even more. Which has caused him to go into depression. He hates that I am feeling this torn up. He is 46 and I am 27. He has two sons a little younger then me and the relationship with their mom started out the same way pregnant early on and then she freaked out left him married another then divorced the other guy to marry him and then to leave again and then come back and then leave once again after pregnant with their second. And then not allowing him to see his sons and at all and lying to them about him. I understand his uneasiness about the whole thing because of his past, but I'm not her. He doesn't want another child in this world that he cant be a father to, but I would never do that. I would stay in this horrible little town we live in if we broke up so that he could know his child and be there for Him/Her. I just don't know what to do. I am pretty sure that I cant abort my baby. I was told by my gynecologist that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant. now that I am I don't think I can terminate with the hope of later trying. Him being depressed is putting me into a depression. I just don't know what to do!!

OP posts:
Offred · 05/02/2016 16:49

Well, if a doctor really did tell you that you could not have kids rather than just that it was very unlikely then I think that was quite negligent of them.

It's irrelevant really since it's happened but I'd say falling pregnant within 3 months of moving in together makes you really quite fertile TBH - something to consider in future.

I think you should expect nothing from him TBH. Plan for the future without him and anything else is a bonus. Make sure you get child support though.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 05/02/2016 18:02

Make your decision based on what is right for you, not for you both as a couple, because whatever happens, in all likelihood this relationship will fall apart. Do you want to have this baby, knowing you will be a single parent, and if you've been told before you won't be able to have children?

PacificDogwod · 05/02/2016 20:47

Oh, you've made your decision - congratulations! Smile

You can do this.
You can do it for you and for your child.
Very best of luck Thanks

dejarderoncar · 05/02/2016 21:05

So , at the age of 27 in any previous relationships you used no contraception, because you were told you are unable to conceive? Does your partner realise that a near miracle has occurred?

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