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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Crap Christmas due to estranged husband

21 replies

Rocklover · 25/12/2006 23:42

Husband came round to spend Christmas with us yesterday (i.e me, my parents and DD), walked in at 7pm and announced that his parents were visiting tomorrow and that he would be taking DD at 5pm today to his flat. I was a bit taken aback as we had made other plans for my sister to visit wit pressies etc and tried to discuss with my parents a way round it. Also, taking into account that he has not made any effort this year and has not decorated his flat...so not a brilliant festive environment, especially as our two yr old DD loves all the decorations and lights!

Tried to compromise, but he went apeshit and started having a go at me, and my parents and basically saying how selfish we were. Started screaming and swearing at me and basically runied the whole of Christmas as he still stayed over until 4pm today.

All I told him was that I thought it was unreasonable to ask us to change plans with less than 24 hours notice at Christmas. My Mum and Dad were stunned as he totally lost it and they have never seen him like that, although, he denies that he lost his temper (ermmmm hello!). He has just phoned and is acting all sweetness and light. He is having DD all day tomorrow as we had already planned. I now officially hate him!

OP posts:
Rocklover · 25/12/2006 23:43

Sorry just in case it doesn't make sense, he came round on Christmas Eve and wanted to take our DD today at 5pm....my description didn't make sense in the original post!

OP posts:
DeckTheHallsWithFRAUsOfHolly · 25/12/2006 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeckTheHallsWithFRAUsOfHolly · 25/12/2006 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rocklover · 25/12/2006 23:53

Luckily no....but it has made me see the light....a solicitor appt is imminent!

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lou33 · 25/12/2006 23:54

exh's are shit

mine didnt even ring them today

dd1 got an email from him saying he would have to call tomorrow cos he couldnt find a phone

apparently all phones in cambodia have disappeared for xmas

Rocklover · 26/12/2006 00:05

Nice! At least my exh isn't as tosserish as that!! I feel for you, I hope you had a good day though!

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lou33 · 26/12/2006 00:07

lol i have flu, but the kids had fun

Rocklover · 26/12/2006 00:09

Oh double poo for you, but yay for them!!

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lou33 · 26/12/2006 00:16

lol it's for them really isnt it?

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 26/12/2006 00:17

MIne spent the whole visit (1 hour) looking out the window for his gf picking him up.
It sounds like the sort of thing he would do and its more for effect than actual interest.Its either to wind you up or impress someone else (in this case his parents)

lou33 · 26/12/2006 00:21

personally i was quite glad he didnt call, because dd1 gets quite upset and aggressive when she has spoken to him, and i wasnt feeling up to dealing with it , but the kids would have liked it i think

I dont think he realises they are mentioning him less and less now, v sad all round

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 26/12/2006 15:43

My kids don't mention my xh much either they talk about his Mam and gf though

lou33 · 26/12/2006 17:27

they talk about his gf?

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 26/12/2006 21:05

Yeah they like her better than him
(actually shes ok , don't know what she sees in him )

lou33 · 26/12/2006 21:07

haha thats funny

mine about my bf more than their dad right now, as well!

dancinggirl · 27/12/2006 23:07

Sorry to hear others have had bad experiences, in spite of anxiety about first Christmas on own with children etc, I didn't have crap Christmas Day at all, actually v chilled with my 4 DCs and grandparents (couple of glasses of wine helped ). Heard nothing from estranged DH though. When I spoke to him yesterday, said he had forgotten to call (hello??? this is four children we are talking about, youngest 5, oldest 13) Hmmm . His loss though...

lou33 · 27/12/2006 23:51

my ex hasnt called either to speak to my 4, oldest 14.5, youngest 5.5

Rocklover · 27/12/2006 23:51

Have decided to divorce him...this incident has helped to clarify that he is not stable and therefore, not someone I want to be with in a marriage. I feel much better just thinking about it.

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lou33 · 28/12/2006 00:27

i wish i could divorce mine but he wont give me a contact address and he is in either thailand or cambodia atm

Rocklover · 28/12/2006 22:38

Men are complete tossers. If he is in Cambodia, lets hope he hasn't been hanging out with Gary Glitter!

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lou33 · 29/12/2006 17:53

he called dd2 today as it is her birthday

he didnt speak t the others and didnt say why he hadnt called over xmas

just as well it wasnt me who picked up the phone...

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