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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I contact him?

7 replies

ladyofthelake84 · 02/02/2016 22:36

Hello all, I was hoping someone might be able to help me! I haven't dated since coming out of a long term relationship so am not sure if my radar is completely off. I know this is a bit of a petty problem compared to many on here.

I see a particular man on an adhoc basis at work - maybe once every three months or so. We are both in our late 20s. I last saw him on Saturday after a significant period of time. We always get on really well, have loads in common and a great time together, but I haven't given it much thought before. possibly because he is far more attractive than me.

Anyway, last Saturday we talked about something we are mutually interested in and he suggested that I give him my email address so he could send me something on the subject.

He then later asked for the email again (I hadn't given it to him before that point as was busy) and he suggested we meet up for coffee to discuss it. I said yes and left it at that.

I have no idea at all if he is being friendly or actually interested, and although I like him I would be happy just to be friends and get to know him better.

Since then, he hasn't messaged me and I am unsure what to do. The only way I could contact him would be to add him as a friend on Facebook - I have no way of emailing him. I am torn between the following thoughts:

  1. Get over it, if he was interested in getting to know you he would message you, it has been three days, you need to calm down.
  1. You only live once, it can't harm to message him on Facebook, at least then you will know where you are.

Would it be really odd to contact him on social media? I think I am leaning towards thinking that it would..

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 02/02/2016 22:39

1

bb888 · 02/02/2016 22:41

It probably depends on what he sees facebook as being for? If he is keen though he shouldn't mind. Is there any other way eg twitter or linkedin that might feel less personal?

Ikeameatballs · 02/02/2016 22:42

I would just friend request him in Facebook but not send a message. Then you've given him another way to contact you and he will if he wants to. I don't think it would be odd to send him a friend request in the circus you describe even if there wasn't any possibility of romance.

TheNaze73 · 02/02/2016 23:50
  1. What have you got to lose? Decent Blokes won't chase, give it a go & good luck
ladyofthelake84 · 03/02/2016 11:49

Thanks all! He does have Twitter, but no idea if that is less personal than Facebook. I think I will just add him as a friend and see what happens.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 03/02/2016 12:14

ladyoftthelake84 I think that's a good move. Hope it all works out for you

Jan45 · 03/02/2016 14:17

You left the ball in his court OP, leave it there, he will get in touch if he is interested, men do chase if they are looking to strike up some kind of relationship - maybe he's just busy the now.

I wouldn't contact him again personally and as you are not bothered then it shouldn't be difficult.

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