F***ed off at my SIL....a festive rant.

[DetentionGrrrl]

I am feeling supremely pissed off at my SIL. I posted a while ago about feeling worried about asking all our relatives to allow to have Xmas Day alone this year. (It's out 1st Xmas as a family, 1st in our new house) I worked up the nerve to tell everyone we wanted the day to ourselves, just this year, as it's so special. We told everyone they could see our 6mth old DS either Xmas Eve or Boxing Day (or both if they wanted) and we offered to go to them, to save them driving here. Everyone was happy and understood, i felt good for speaking my mind for once, and DP and i were looking forward to being alone as a new family just this one year.

Then today, we were visiting FIL and Step MIL with DS and we realised that SIL hadn't left the presents at our house the day before (we thought she had forgot) so DP rang from FIL's to ask if she wanted us to pop over and pick them up. She said no, she was coming over Xmas Day and she'd bring them then. I was furious, but couldn't say much in front of FIL.

In the wide scheme of things, i know it sounds petty, but i'm annoyed that she pretended we were having our day just the 3 of us, when she obviously intended to turn up regardless. And i'm so disappointed that we aren't getting this 1st Xmas Day alone (get up when we want, wear PJ's all day, dinner when we like etc etc)

Anyway- apologies for the rant. Glad i got that out. Hopefully i won't still be this pissed off tomorrow when she's here.

i'd be very pissed off too! how rude of her to want to barge in on your christmas like that!

lock the doors, close the curtains and don't answer the door to the rude cow!

Could you just not answer the door? And if asked it was a lovely afternoon for a walk? After all at 6 mo it's not really a biggey that DS dosen't get pressie on xmas day itself.

Phone her back, say you're sure she's forgotten that it was just going to be you on Christmas Day and you'll see her on Boxing Day?

good idea hunker...also,how long is she planning on staying?

stay in your PJs, cook when you want, she'll get the message...

I can't do that. I wish i could though.

I was quite annoyed at FIL's. DP was on the phone going 'oh, you're coming tomorrow. Um, what time. Ok, 10 o clock...etc etc' I was quite restrained i think. I just said 'well it's not very fair that we told everyone to let us be this year, and she's coming anyway' FIL tried to say that we can't upset the babysitter in a jokey way, but i think my face said it all.

I really wanted this one Xmas just us. I know when DS is older it may be lovely for him to have others around, so this was our 1st and only chance for a private, lazy family Xmas.

Get DP to ring her back if it'll upset you more than her.

And go away next year

I think i will go away nexy year! was thinking that earlier actually!

I don't think she'll be here more than hour or so, but still annoyed. Never mind...i shall remain in my pants in the kitchen, angily making stuffing until she is gone

Poor you, just don't answer the door!!!

Can't you text her to give her the message without having to talk to her?

You shouldn't have to explain, but if you want to, then tell her what you've said here.

I'm worried as my partners dad hasn't been round with anything for the kids yet!!!

He always comes round with money in their cards every year.

Only thing is, he now has partners sister living with him and we can't stick her.

We have visions of them turning up at dinner time and we really don't want them here.

When they do come round, they get in the way and do nothing!!!!!

They always wind the kids up as well, which when they're already excited, is the last thing i need!!!

How can i get rid of them if they turn up????

I do feel sorry for her in a way...she is single and childless, and lives on her own. She's going to FIL for dinner etc. I wouldn't have minded so much if she's said please can i come over anyway for an hour- it's the sneakiness.

Next year we're going away, i've decided!

Other than locking the doors fussymummy, i can't really offer any advice i'm afraid!

Maybe she's really lonely!!!

Still no excuse to invade on your special time though.

If i locked the doors, my kids would soon unlock them to let grandad in!!!!!

I just hope he doesn't turn up!!

Try and have a good time when she's gone.

I know that it is now boxing day so this has already happened (love to know if you did stay in your pants)

Why did your DP say "oh, you're coming tomorrow. Um, what time. Ok, 10 o clock...etc etc" surely he should have been saying "well tomorrow is Christmas Day and we are pulling up the drawbridge but Boxing day would be great"

I used to have this problem with my DH he would do that on the phone knowing full well that we had agreed something other. Then if he was made to ring back it would look like it was all me. Fortunately in the end he grew some balls.

I really hope your special day wasn't ruined. My parents had the Christmas day as just us rule when we were little. We would see my nice grandma on Christmas eve and then not so nice grandma on Boxing day, the thought being that not so nice grandma couldn't ruin Christmas as we saw her after the fact!!!

I do feel for you. We have this problem and it does wind me up with people "popping" in constantly over xmas. I chop and change to be honest, between thinking its lovely and xmassy and open house and then the next minute I'm thinking how stressful it all is entertaining people all the time. I really don't feel as though I have spent much time with my DDs over the last two days and that's not right, it should be us and them, not everyone else. The two of them are completely knackered because people have been here late and been noisy so they haven't slept until late. Just about to put them to bed now, nice and early, just us at last!!

Well she ended up coming over for about half an hour, and to be honest, she looked so happy with DS etc that i felt glad in the end. She is alone after all, and we had the rest of the day to ourselves. Shame i had to get dressed though, i was looking forward to Xmas in my pants

Am already wondering where to go next year though....

Hmmm I think I'd have had the day my way even if she did insist on popping over - so everyone still in their pjs. It's up to you how you run your life - if she wants to turn up even when you've said you want the day to yourself, then she has to accept it on your terms.

Glad it went well though!