My Grandmother last night discovered that I was abused by my father (her son) last night.
She actually asked outright, and I didn't lie.
My father and I now have a relationship of sorts, and I speak to him occasionally, he has taken full responsiblity for what happened, I have have spent 18 months in counselling about it, and have settled the whole matter in my head.
The problem is that I went through a period, of approx 10 years where I had no contact with him whatsoever, and my gran would not let it go. Nagged begged and cried for me to speak to him. This affected our (gran and me) realtionship severely, and I generally have very little contact with her, which I find very sad.
One the phone last night, she started on at me again, even although she nows that father & I now speak. And said that he must of done something really terrible to me. She then asked " did he abuse you?" and I said yes, she then said "sexually" and I said yes. She then went hysterical crying etc.
She has just phoned to say she is coming here a three this afternoon.
What do I say to her, and WHY do I always end up feeling guilty about this!!!!
I phoned stepmother last night to give her and him the headsup - and now he won't speak to me.
I have not cried or been upset by this for at least 6 months - and I don't want to be. What the f**k do I do?