New to dating. Have I been blown out?

[1DAD2KIDS]

So I am a single dad new on the dating scene. This is the second woman I have dated so far. So still new to it. I liked her and all seemed to be going well. The conversation flowed well both sides, we were laughing and joking, we shared common ground and she was stunning. She had the most beautiful eyes. Then she popped out and said she had a call from a friend who she had to go out and help and this cut the date short. I am not entirely sure if it was not an excuse to make a sharp exit. The date ended with a kiss before she left and she said we should defiantly do it again. I think I rushed the kiss because I was nervous and already worried that I was being blown out. I kick myself later for this because she had the most lovely soft lips and I would have loved a big long kiss. Also that would of helped me judge her level of interest. But I don't know if she is just being nice. May be I am over reading into things. When she was talking about her reasons for leaving the eye contact seemed to go. This made me a bit concerned this maybe an excuse to leave. So I am really confused to if she likes me or not. If she wasn't interested I would must prefer her tell me, I am a big boy. I will leave it a bit to chat her because she said she is sorting out her friends personal issues and last thing she'll want is me bothering her I guess.

I am not sure if I lived up to her expectations. We have been talking a lot online and we had talked about getting very intimate. I think something we are both looking want and to be honest hungry for. My worry is I didn't initiate really any body contact or go in for trying to hold her hand or anything physical. Did I do the right thing for a first date or should I have just go for it all guns blazing? I did really fancy her but I am very reserved initially until I get comfortable with someone, then I am the opposite. I am very passionate. Based on our online talking maybe she wanted me to sweep her off her feet and take her into my arms. And if the night had of continued I am sure I would have warmed up a bit and been all those things as I was defiantly interest. So was I too wooded to start off with considering we had struck up relationship online?

We had not been chatting very long but at least in the online world things picked up very quick. Things just seemed to gel quickly. She started turning the heat up and I went with the flow. To be fair it felt quite natural as we were getting on great. Like I say it wasn't dirty sex talk as such. More talk of general intimacy like having someone to snuggle upto at night. The idea of not being loney in bed on a cold winters night. I was quite sweet and I guess I a desire shared by most. I guess we were both guilty of getting the thing too hyped up before we meet.

I must say I like the suggestion about just saying let keep a lid on it until we meet. It sounds a good plan. Is that likely to work if I am in the same situation again.

Change the subject when a woman brings that up.

Sorry every time I write "it" my phone keeps changing it to "I".

To be honest when I was dating if anyone had started with the dirty talk I would have blown them off (snigger) I wasn't after a hook up and I certainly wouldn't have reciprocated just to get a date. Its fine if you are both after a hook up but if you want something more meaningful once you go down that road its hard to change direction iyswim.
You could make light of it and say whoa we haven't even met yet!
If a man had come on to me with sexy talk I would most definitely be turned off and I love sex as much as the majority of people do.
There's no frisson or build up if you put it all out there before you have even met.
Unless you are specifically on an adult fun site

Please tell me that you didn't use the word 'humping' in your intimate online chats?

In fact you should probably erase that word from your vocabulary entirely.

Sounds a plan. But will I come across a bit frigid?

Oh Ive just read your other post
what thenaze said. Change the subject and meet quickly. Definitely don't go down the route of texting before meeting e.g good morning, did you have a good day etc.
Meet quickly and if you hit it off there is plenty of time for the texting to follow naturally

No I didn't use the word humping. I used the word humping on here to try and draw a clearer comparison between sex talk and the (at least in my opinion) the kind of intimate talk we were having. It wasn't any I going to do that to you or your going to that to me. It was just talk of having someone to hold and cuddle upto.

Sorry donajimena just got the "blow them off" reference. Ha

I agree don't do the sexting. I also agree meet quickly if possible and see what we're it goes. I had that my friend needs my help phone call excuse ready I'm afraid so think she is a no goer. There are good people out there on Internet dating. Lots of people talk about it being a numbers game

OP, I met my DP via online dating - we started messaging on the Wednesday night and met up on the Sunday. There was none of that good morning/good night bollocks via text in between. No point in creating a false intimacy with someone via messages when there might not be one in real life. We obv sent some messages in between meeting which was enough for me to see that we had enough in common to give a first date a go. Really don't see the point of talking about snuggling and sharing a bed with a stranger when, once you meet there might be zero connection or spark. It just builds unnecessary expectations IMO

So is it cool to state an intrest and ask to meet. If they say yes then say no offence but can we not chat any more till we meet in person?

Both times so far there has been alot getting to know each other chat and goods mornings etc.

If you want a relationship I'd avoid the sex talk/intimacy all together.
If you just want sex (which is fine if its what both parties are up for ) use a special site and you can lady Chatterley to your hearts content.
I don't know where you got 'come across as frigid from' it wouldn't cross my mind tbh.
My OH and I chatted about work, hobbies n shit. We saved the pillow talk until we hit the sack..

Of course you can chat again before you meet in person just not chat that sounds as if you're already planning a relationship with them I.e kissing, cuddling whatever. And yes, it's ok to express an interest in meeting, just not in the first message or two as you'll seem desperate. Sorry, it's a bit of a minefield I know!

You could just arrange a date! I chatted on the Tuesday and we met on the Friday. Once it was all arranged I think there was a general 'hope you are well I'm looking forward to tomorrow' but nothing else. No chit chat.

It sure is. I at first thought she's coming on pretty strong. At first I thought woe there. But it was also very flattering and to be honest it was very nice having someone telling you your goreous. But I am as much to blame for that because I reciprocated and got wrapped up in the whole thing.

I think you have to see how it goes re the texting. My DP and I text everyday and did so the morning and night thing but I liked that. We chatted about our kids and work and shared interests. I was chatting to others at the same time too. We couldn't meet for about a week and a half but when we did the texting changed as there was a definite spark. Not sexting but more romantic

That is lovely to hear Minime. I suppose it was just ment to be for you guys. Since you have a different perspective can I ask if the conversation had not got so personal would you have gone on a date with your DP? (I am starting to get used to the abbreviations and use them. I almost had a tea spitting moment the first time I seen DP writen on here)

I wouldn't assume a man was frigid because he didn't want to talk about sex. I'd probably think he was a gentleman.

If a woman wants to talk about sex it might be better to keep the conversation general next time, that way you won't have any expectations.

If it had been explicit either obvious or very implied then no I wouldn't. But the texts had xx on and were throughout each day but others I text who I went on a date with weren't like that. It's such a minefield but hopefully you'll meet a like minded person soon. Good luck

All sounds a bit odd from her side in a way. Text or phone her to ask if she want's to meet again if so fine, if not move on. Gut instinct is you might have missed a bullet there!.

Well I have messaged her. Just asking if she is sure she wants a second date and explaining if she don't that's cool. I just asked that she let me know either way. I think her silence on the matter says it all. A little rude I think not to get back to me and say no thanks. But that's life. I am upset she went in for a kiss at the end of the date. To be honest I don't want to kiss anyone who is not intrested (makes me cringe a bit). I think some lessons learned on this one. I suppose its all part of one grand adventure.