my ds's nan..... what am i supposed to do??

[juicychops]

My ds's nan (my ex's mum) has my ds overnight every fortnight Saturday until sunday morning. She cancelled last week and changed it to this Saturday. She is meant to pick ds up as 3pm but she didn't text last night to double check plans as she normally does and haven't heard anything about it since she cancelled and re planned last Friday.

Last Saturday my ex was contacted by the police as i reported domestic abuse that happened when we were together. He is going into the station tomorrow and will be arrested there. His mum was texting me horrible messages about it saying im a lier and sick in the head and im ruining his life and she feels sorry for my ds having me as a mum. My ex hasn't seen our ds for nearly a year my his mum still thinks the sun shines out of his arse and can do no wrong!!

Anyway, I told her to leave me alone and if she discussed it any more il call the police as i was advised.

So does this mean she is choosing to not see my ds this weekend? This access is arranged through my solicitor as our relationship is very bad. So it looks like she isn't going to turn up and isn't even telling me she isn't. Ive anticipated this happening so i haven't made any plans, but this would be
the last time she would see him before xmas. Im no way going to text her.

What shall i do about it? she wont be seeing him over xmas

You dont seriously want your exs mother who thinks the sun shines out of his any where near your child .

Bad ex partner, bad grandmother. You can see a pattern here. She will never believe your word over his as she feels her son can do no wrong. She also cannot communicate with you effeticely as all she is doing is sending text messages. A cop out to say the least because such serious matters need to be talked over properly, not by text. As his partner and an ex partner at that (at least you got out of a violent relationship) you are in her eyes lower than the low.

I would have nothing more to do with them. You can find better childcare for your DS. You may want your son to have a relationship with his grandmother but its too high a price to pay. Why subject your son to such poisonous influence?.

I hate the woman and the whole family. I only do it as ds likes going round there. They have lots of presents for him including a kitchen.

She was meant to pick him up at 3 which has now gone so clear she isn't coming.

I feel like im being unfair on ds for saying i don't want him going round there at all over xmas as she has now broke the arangements without even telling me! But im fed up of them all treating me like shit thinking they can do whatever the hell they like and il just take it.

Shall i say she has to come here if she wants to give him any presents?

ATM yeah your right. my ex and probably his mum now has said when my ds is older they will tell him what an awful person i am 'stopping' him seeing his son. I have never ever stopped him seeing him and he lives 5 mins down the road and basically he couldn't be bothered to get off his arse and make plans blaming work commitments and that he needs his days off to have a life!!

God how awful for you. isn't it bad when you know the truth and only want the best for your kids? remember this, the truth will out in the end.

Tonight my ds's nan came up to drop off his xmas presents. She said hello to him, literally threw the presents in the door and walked off. I said there's some here from my ds she shook her head to say no i dont want them. I told her there is some in there for my ds's cousin so she took them and went.

My ds was crying cos he was upset she left. she didn't give him a kiss or cuddle or pick him up like she normally does i felt so sorry for him. It was awful to see. She is a bitch and i hate her!!

None of this is in my ds's best interests and if she is gunna be like that ever again she wont be seeing him. It may sound horrible, but my ds doesn't need that.

Im very angry

unfortunately I think it was inevitable that the sh*t was going to hit the fan with you reporting the domestic violence to the police. I agree with attila, i don't think that somebody sending abusive text messages to you should be part of your son's life.

Yeah i know i suppose, i just hate this situation

I would hate it too...i think what i would do is this :

Write her a letter. Say in it that you do NOT want to discuss or go over the past. Or lay blame and point fingers at anyone. Tell her that for your childs sake, you wish to start 2007 on a fresh note-draw a line under EVERYTHING that has happened previously. And if she agrees to this, hopefully her relationship with your son will carry on in a healthy way. Make it clear then, that if she does not agree to this very simple way of doing things that you will sever ALL contact with her until she agrees to the above.

If things do not work out, you will have tried and have a clear conscience. Oh and keep a copy of the letter, one day you may need to show it to your son.