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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Merry effing xmas NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

56 replies

Tyedye · 23/12/2006 10:09

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glitterfairyrenewed · 31/12/2006 19:39

Oh Tyedye I am so sorry. I cannot think of a thing to say except I hope that next year is a much better one for you. Loads of love coming your way. xxx

divastrop · 31/12/2006 20:10

thats waful,remember,he cant force you to have sex.abusive men see it as another pwer thing.the night i split from my xp we'd got into an argument cos he'd started gooing on about some bloke i'd slept with when the two of us had been separated for a while(he was also seeing somebody else during this time).he was saying'did you enjoy it?was he better than me?'etc and i just turned round and said 'yes,of course i enjoyed it,or i wouldnt have done it,and anybody would be better than you'.i knew what i was going to get but i'd lost the will to live by that point and all the fear i'd felt for 4 years erupted into anger and i found the strength i'd been looking for.

your time will come...soon.one day you will wake up and know its the end of the line,and nothing he says or does will make any difference.

Tyedye · 03/01/2007 13:48

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StarrmumofRoyalBeautyBright · 03/01/2007 14:40

Whether it's rape or not, it won't stop the bullying. There will always be a next time.

Thinking of you and hope you're keeping it together.

Pinkchampagne · 03/01/2007 14:46

I wouldn't have said it was rape if you consented to it, but that's not the issue here. He is still being abusive to you & his demanding sex is part of the abuse.
Please don't continue to live like this for much longer, Tyedye.

Tyedye · 07/01/2007 19:26

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gothicmama · 07/01/2007 19:31

I would consider it rape because it is anagainst your wishes and you are coecered in to it to prevent someother form of abuse,
YOur time will come like diva I found the strength at the time I least expected it

smittenkitten · 07/01/2007 20:06

Tyedye, your situaion sounds awful. A friend was in a v similar situation (final straw for her was his abuse over buying cherry tomatoes instead of regular), but she was able to leave - no kids and she had a well paying job. you are not obliged to understand or excuse his behaviour - just to protect yourself and your kids and raise them in a safe and loving environment. Andy family or friends you can stay with? if he's pressuring you for sex this is not safe for you.

Tyedye · 07/01/2007 20:31

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/01/2007 20:34

oh tyedye, im sorry its come to this.

You gotta do whatever it takes to preserve you and your children.

Pinkchampagne · 07/01/2007 21:24

Oh Tyedye

Tyedye · 15/01/2007 17:55

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Pinkchampagne · 15/01/2007 18:14

Good luck with DV officer, Tyedye.

kokeshi · 15/01/2007 18:25

Tyedye...just seen this. Hadn't seen you on the other thread for ages and was wondering about you. Please don't allow him to do this to you any longer, get out.

Don't worry about tackling everything at once, just do what's in front of you. If you need support with the other stuff, we'll support you, you're not alone.

You're a fantastic person and he's suffocating you. You and you're family deserve to be happy.

Much love, kx

Pinkchampagne · 15/01/2007 18:29

Where are you meeting with DV officer, Tyedye?
Let us know how you get on with her, hope she is able to help you out.
You & your children deserve so much better than this.

Pinkchampagne · 16/01/2007 07:41

Good luck today, Tyedye.x

glitterfairy · 16/01/2007 07:43

Tyedye have been worrying glad you are at the very least still here and good luck today. Email me.

Pinkchampagne · 17/01/2007 14:37

How did you get on, Tyedye?

Tyedye · 20/01/2007 20:04

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Tyedye · 20/01/2007 20:05

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Pinkchampagne · 21/01/2007 18:13

Glad you have some support now, Tyedye.
How did you get on? Was the DV officer helpful?

glitterfairy · 21/01/2007 22:25

HI Tyedye I was so concerned I started a where are you thread! Hope your support is good and things are getting a fraction better.

Tyedye · 23/01/2007 09:57

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theUrbanDryad · 23/01/2007 10:37

tyedye - just seen this thread
i don't have any personal experience of what you're going through but just wanted to give you a virtual {{{hug}}} from here.
i used to cut and know how easy it is to use that as a coping mechanism. it is an addiction, but you are stronger than it.
good luck x x

Pinkchampagne · 23/01/2007 17:58

Glad the DV officer was helpful, Tyedye.
Hope you're okay.x