4 year relationship finished today and I am gutted.

[Resilience16]

My 4 year long distance relationship finally limped to a finish today and oh God it hurts so much.
Tried so hard to make it work, but things began to get EA,escalating over Xmas.
I KNOW I am doing the right thing, but I feel like I have lost my right arm. I really wanted this to work. I am so scared for the future .I am 49, got a 6 year old who dotes on him,the thought of breaking it to her is making me sob.Her dad is an absolute tw@t, he will be overjoyed when he hears we have split up.
I feel so lost, so sick, so useless. All hugs gratefully received.

Hi again You can and will get through it. Sundays can be ghastly at the best of times. Hence my endless reading of MN threads.

Any day has been hard for me, Iv deleted his number so I can't contact him but I'd think if I did it would be a lil bit creepy for me as Iv spent the last two weeks begging for him back ... Today has been difficult last year we had a lovely time .... Hotel meal petals on the bed he bought me a beautiful dress ......today I spent it with a beautiful friend with her hoses and dogs and walking so it's taken my mind off it........I wish he wanted me I wish he loved me but he doesn't he's told me and that kills xx

Sundayitis again. Got to get out of this Sunday rut. Doesn't help that he emailed yesterday to say he is down and hopes I am ok. I know he is just trying to suck me back in, so I have not responded but it is still bloody hard.
I have got the number for the Freedom class in my area so am going to ring tomorrow to enrole.
I have to keep reminding myself how bad the bad times were, and try not to look back through rose tinted spex.
Onwards and upwards.

Well wow, if I ever needed proof I've done the right thing I've had it today. Ex has been messaging on and off last couple of weeks,saying missing me,wondering what went wrong etc etc .I ve mostly ignored or rebuffed, which must have rankled as I haven't gone running back. I also pointed out that I walked away as couldn't endure the abusive mood swings anymore, this was met with tumbleweed.
Got an email out of the blue today to say he is suicidal and goodbye. As I am other end of country I panicked and asked his local police to do welfare check. This has opened a torrent of abusive messages from the very much alive ex,I am the world's worst apparently for worrying enough to ask the police to check on him, etc etc.
It has shocked me but also done me a huge , huge favour, as I now have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I have done the right thing to walk away.
Thank God I escaped

hi....good to see an update....you now know you made the right decision!

Well done on calling the authorities on his threat. I bet he won't ever try that bit of emotional extortion again, to you or anyone else.

Yes, you made the right decision, in spades. Now to block him?

So glad you called him on his words and what was left of the rose tinted glasses has been smashed.

Definitely onwards & upwards!

Urrgh.Have been thinking about him a hell of a lot over the last couple of weeks, have even dreamt about him a few times, including last night!
Have had to fight the urge to contact him, I know it would just be stirring up a hornets nest, but I really have been tempted. Not sure why the feeling is so strong at the minute, I've been relatively ok for months.He sent my dd a birthday card in May, randomly,and I resisted the urge to contact him then. Just goes to show how much time it takes to get over these things I guess.
Keep busy, keep on keeping on.

If it helps, he sounds dreadful.

You really are best off out of it.

Are you sure it's him you miss, and not being in a relationship?

Because if so, there are other men out there...

OP, don't do it! He sounds awful, and you've done so well.

The dreams might just be your brain sorting through what's happened and coming to terms with it. I dream about people I haven't seen for years/things that happened years ago.

Think of how you felt when he texted you to say he was suicidal and you rang the police - he was being an arse then, wasn't he? He still is.

Thank you both, appreciated x