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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How long does the divorce process take

31 replies

Heatherjayne1972 · 26/01/2016 18:21

Roughly. From start to finish.

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 26/01/2016 18:35

What grounds are you using? I know one, on grounds of adultery and domestic violence done and dusted in a fortnight. Two years separation, if the other party does not agree, can take years.

Heatherjayne1972 · 26/01/2016 18:41

He was violent. Been separated 18 months

OP posts:
luluinlalaland · 26/01/2016 18:42

Mine, 10 months, but I didn't piss about with mediation as he was abusive & pushed straight through to court.

Happydappy99 · 26/01/2016 18:47

Mine was really quick - 4 months from start to finish. We agreed the finances and childcare between ourselves and as soon as the decree nisi was issued the solicitor submitted our consent order and once that was back we applied for the absolute.

TempusEedjit · 26/01/2016 18:48

Sorry finally but how could it have been done and dusted in a fortnight when there's a compulsory 6 week wait between the Nisi and the Absolute?

OP if all is straightforward, he doesn't contest, he completes/returns the forms quickly and there isn't a backlog at your local court then realistically you're looking at around three months as a minimum.

WhatTheDickens75 · 26/01/2016 18:49

You can't get divorced within two weeks you absolute herb.

The process takes on average 6-12 months however there can be many many complications. Is something holding yours up or are you asking in general?

Heatherjayne1972 · 26/01/2016 19:00

Just wondering really. I've not started proceedings because I don't have the money. He will be awkward about anything and everything.

I just want to not be married to him anymore

OP posts:
LookAtMeGo · 26/01/2016 19:06

After two years seperation it took a further eight months even though the separation agreement was in place from soon after he moved out and it was completely amicable. Solicitors aren't exactly known for their speed Hmm

babynumber3eek · 26/01/2016 19:14

I may be wrong, but I believe in cases of abuse you CAN actually get divorced that quickly. You can also have the 6 week wait dismissed for certain circumstances such as expecting a baby that you want to be born in wedlock rather than illegitimately if you have to have the 6 weeks... All of that has to be done by a judge rather than the clerk based normal route.

Our divorces were done between 2-3 months because we shaved off time by hand delivering the various bits of paperwork to the counter of the court and had the support of our respective partners (2 years separation with consent). We didn't use solicitors either, just printed off the forms and so it was only the cost of the court fees and we were totally in control of timescale rather than chasing a solicitor to post a form...

babynumber3eek · 26/01/2016 19:16

Oh and in respect of financials, you may not have to pay court fees depending on your income - the fee waiver is on a sliding scale but quite generous (imho) , your ex's income wouldn't come into it as it's divorce.

KittiKat · 26/01/2016 19:29

I started mine on 1st December 2015. Decree Nisi is to be granted on 4th February 2016. Decree Absolute (6 weeks and 1 day from Decree Nisi) means 17th March 2016. So about 3 1/2 months all in all.

Clean break which is not straightforward can make the divorce longer.

I cannot do "Clean Break" as on paper it has to be done at time of divorce. We sold marital home over 4 years ago, paid off all debts (did not matter whose) and split remainder 50/50. I put my 50% as a deposit on a house and have paid my own mortgage ever since. He squandered his 50% and lives in rented accommodation. On paper therefore, I look much better off than him at this moment in time. He also is currently out of work and living on benefits. He also does not want to share any financial information with me.

I just have to trust him that he won't come after my property in the future, the same as he has to trust me that I won't go after his pensions, which incidentally, are worth more than the equity in my house at the moment.

Heatherjayne1972 · 26/01/2016 19:59

Why would he come after your property ? It's nothing to do with him surely ?

OP posts:
TooSassy · 26/01/2016 20:05

Hmmm. From filing to Nisi coming through is approx 5 1/2 months. I think most of that delay was with the courts if I'm honest.
I think (hope) I'll be done in 8 months.

LookAtMeGo · 26/01/2016 20:05

We had the Clean Break thing. Maybe that's why ours took so long?

LookAtMeGo · 26/01/2016 20:06

Don't know why, though. It's just yet another form to fill in/sign.

KittiKat · 26/01/2016 22:34

Heatherjayne1972 when you do a "Clean Break" it is at the time you do it - i.e. fill in the forms whilst divorcing. He did not want the divorce, I finally persuaded him after over 4 years that I was NOT going to change my mind. The Solicitor then said "Clean Break" well I need to know his financial position, the value of his pensions, his income, his debts etc etc and no way is he going to give that to me.

If I had known then what I know now, I would have filed for EA and unreasonable behaviour and done the forms before we sold the house without waiting. But I was not strong enough. It took all my sanity to separate.

He is a control freak and made me feel that as I had decided to separate and split the family up, I was an awful person and why divorce if no one else was involved etc etc.

KittiKat · 26/01/2016 22:37

Oh and also, technically I am still married to him so "so what is mine is also his". Even if I have paid for it all myself he would still be entitled to 50% of it.

You are NOT financially separated until you have a Clean Break AND a Decree Absolute.

Heatherjayne1972 · 26/01/2016 22:52

The only thing ex and I have joint is the mortgage ( and kids). And I'm in the process of selling the house anyway as he needs money to pay his debts

OP posts:
Heatherjayne1972 · 26/01/2016 22:53

Was hoping would be easy and quick

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 26/01/2016 23:01

If your h's violence to you was logged with the police you may be entitled to legal aid.

In any event, I would suggest you book appointments with 2 or 3 solicitors who specialise in divorce and family law and offer a free intitial consultation before proceeding with the sale of the marital home and, more especially, if you will have to move into rented accomodation when it's sold.

Make contact with Women's Aid who can recommend solicitors in your area who have specific experience of dv: www.womensaid.org.uk

Heatherjayne1972 · 26/01/2016 23:03

Yeah they know me quite well😔 I have a court order out against him. I'm not eligible for legal aid as I earn to much.

OP posts:
KittiKat · 26/01/2016 23:15

Heatherjayne1972 because you have children, if you are using a solicitor, they will make sure that a good financial agreement is made for you, the spouse BUT a totally separate one for the children if they are under 18 and living at home.

You and your spouse could theoretically agree to share proceeds from the house 50/50 BUT whoever has MAIN control (wrong word I know)over the children, ie. who do they live with etc, then that parent should get maintenance or maybe more than 50/50.

If you do have young children, then I would seriously advise seeing a solicitor. Please see a solicitor if you have children.

Sorry, I would write more but I have managed to dislocate my neck and for some reason my touch typing has gone out the window and I am spending ages having to correct everything. (Think every word - I am so pissed off that my coordination has gone).

off to take knock out happy pills to make me sleep. Good luck! Smile

mum2mum99 · 26/01/2016 23:36

Depending how amicable you are. Some companies specialise in fast track divorces.
Once you have the decree NISI you have to wait 6 months for the decree absolute, so I would say can take a bit less than a year.
IF you have to agree on custody, if you disagree on how to split the asset it will take longer and it can even take several years.
How is exH regarding all of this?

KittiKat · 26/01/2016 23:53

No, from Decree Nisi to Absolute is 6 weeks and 1 day. You file the Absolute papers once you receive the Decree Nisi certificate from the court and date it 6 weeks and 1 day from the day they said they granted it on the certificate. Definitely NOT 6 months. I know mine is to be heard in court on 4th Feb as the court have written and told me so.

So my divorce is/will be taking 3 1/2 months. No financial clean break and no custody/children/maintenance orders.

If you have a spouse who objects to one or all those other orders, it can take years and cost thousands. I have done mine all online. A straightforward divorce can be done in 4 months or under if the court is not overloaded. Mine incidentally is being "heard" in Neath & Port Talbot who must have a low case rate. Miles from where I live but the online company must keep tabs on who will respond the quickest.

mum2mum99 · 27/01/2016 00:04

Gosh Kitty maybe those 6 weeks seemed like 6 months to me...

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