What did you say to make your partner admit they had been emotionally abusive?

[spad]

When they admitted it were they able to stop doing it?

The only thing xh admitted to was that he was deliberately late (even to hospital appointments for dc, on the rare occasion he bothered to attend) - but it was because 'he didn't like me telling him what to do'.

My ex did admit he is a horrible person for the way he treated me. He was in therapy at the time (we had been apart for almost a year). He admitted that nothing I did deserved the reactions I got (bruises, split lip, emotional hammerings that left me unable to function). It was all him, it was wrong, he was ever so sorry.
I was amazed - but he followed it up with a ramble on about how it was all to do with the way his dad treated his mum (had emotional affairs) and it made him paranoid about what I was up to.
He was most confused when I pointed out that he was the one that cheated, and asked him why?
Bumped into him about 2 years ago (so 10years on from his apology). He asked if I remembered a particular party we went to - I said yes. I remember. It was the night you pulled out a clump of my hair and pushed me over in the rain so my dress was ruined - because a boy had told me I looked nice and you wanted to go home.
His reply? "Oh yes, that. Well, you always were dramatic weren't you?"

I don't know what caused the initial apology - he didn't want me back at that point. But he obviously hasn't learned. His current partner is a friend of a friend and he treats her the same way.

Oh spad! Your previous thread asked how to stop a man being abusive to you.

You got a lot of really good advice on that thread - LTB basically.

Nothing, absolutely nothing that you can say or do will stop him from abusing you. None of it is your fault. He will never change.

I tried "talking" .....it didn't work
I tried"nagging"....... It didn't work
I tried showing him exactly how his behaviour made me feel........it didn't work

I LTB and then he apologised........ But after a while decided again that it wasn't his fault and he wasn't abusive.

Calling our 14 year old a "cunt" isn't abusive apparently as our 14 year "wound him up"
Not accepting the word "no" as an answer for "do you want sex" is also not abusive in any way
Making me pay for half of everything when I was on statutory maternity pay and he was earning £700+ a week wasn't abusive
Never doing your share of housework or childcare is also perfectly acceptable

It was my fault because "I didn't put up enough barriers to stop it". He only did it because "his dad treated his mum badly and he didn't know better"

Honestly, I should have taken the advice from mumsnet years ago to LTB. I would have saved myself and my children so much heartache

No but when my Ex boyfriend kissed me despite the fact I didn't want to, apologised but it wasn't sincere. Oh and 9 months after we broke up said "You made me cry in my room for the last few months". Both my abusive ex partners claim that they are the victims.