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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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4 replies

Conline · 24/01/2016 23:58

So I'm due in 5 weeks. Not sleeping/insomnia/back has seized up. Partner had his last night out last night before baby comes. All be it he doesn't go out that often. Came home at 230am found me still up reading and everything was "a laugh" to him. Telling me to make sure I don't wake him up, snoring, being sick all over! Tossing and turning. Basically I got up this morning in a right mood as well as shattered told him I could have done with a bit consideration last night- he could have slept in the settee! And he's turned round and said I'm a horrible miserable cu** and as it was a one off him being in that state I should back off making him feel bad and start showing him some appreciation. I always try to tell him how much I appreciate what he does, working over time. Making meals etc and tell him I love him etc. But what else can I do ffs. It's not plane sailing for me ATM. Just feel gutted were in such a crap place and he called me that and it's so close to the due date.

OP posts:
KramerVSKramer · 25/01/2016 00:17

It isn't an easy time for either party.

The difference is, he went out and had a party last night and had a few too many. you knew that. It was agreed beforehand.

Alcohol affects each and every one of us. I've shouted at my two year old rather irrationally today due to a bad hangover. Feel terrible about it but I wasn't functioning normally.

Let it go. Focus on the next five weeks. It'll be fine.

Oh, don't forget to tell him never ever to call you such a name again.

cocochanel21 · 25/01/2016 12:49

Hope ur DP has apologised for the way he spoke to you. If my DH spoke to me like that I'd be furious and wouldn't let it go. As for showing some appreciation (WTF) maybe he should start showing you some.
I can't believe he would speak to you like that he sounds vile. Hope the rest of your pregnancy is stress free. Take care

Binders1 · 25/01/2016 16:16

I hope that's the first time he's called you that in your relationship. Make sure it's the last. As for showing him some appreciation. Let him trade places with you and see how he likes that. Oh.. that's right...he can't can he. Apparently I was hell to live with for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy - TOUGH SHIT!

Please don't pussy foot around him and stress yourself over it, worrying about how to make him feel more appreciated. Just look after yourself - that's all that matters right now. Hope he realises he's going to feel a whole lot less 'appreciated' when the baby comes and that he's not the type that's going to start moaning about the lack of attention he is getting.

Take care and good luck with your beautiful baby.

peggyundercrackers · 25/01/2016 16:36

I always think you should treat other people the same way as you would like to be treated so if you have been a bit cranky towards him don't be surprised if you get the same behaviour back.

it is difficult for you however as pp mentioned you knew he was going out, it was all arranged. people are a PITA when they are drunk and you aren't, you should cut him a little slack because most of your issues are around your pregnancy not his drinking.

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