How can I nip this in the bud?

[WeepingBicycleMonkeys]

Looking for a bit of perspective.
It's by no means life and death but I want opinions as to whether I'm being too touchy here.
We are soon to relocate back near family after many years at the other end of the country. My parents will be 5 mins away.
We have given DM a key to keep an eye on the new place in the interim period whilst we get ready to move in.
She has been popping in regularly, making comments on what does and doesn't need doing to the place etc. which is fine (we have no real plans to do anything much) and going on about getting the garden "sorted" (it's very much a low maintenance blank canvas at the moment)
Then the other day she texted about getting pots and plants for the garden. She is a keen gardener. I, on the other hand, am about the least green fingered person on earth and have no interest in plants (which she knows very well)

I replied very carefully to say that I was not going to have any plants in the garden for the same reasons as mentioned above and added that we have enough things to worry about re this move without having to tend a garden (which is true, jobs, schools etc)
I thought I'd made myself pretty clear.
Today I receive a picture of a bush that she's planted along with a message saying its a present for DD (who is six)
I have not replied yet.
I'm feeling pretty frustrated and cross about this but I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable. On one hand I'm thinking I can't be rude about "a gift" but on the other hand I think why not ask me if there's anything I need? There are a million useful things she could have got us instead of buying something that I've expressly stated would cause me hassle. Does it seem kind of controlling?
And then to say it's for DD is, I'm sure, just an excuse so that if I object she's gonna say, "Well, it's not for you, it's for DD" (who I'm pretty sure will be unfussed about a bush)
It's like she's trying to impose on me.
I really want to tackle this in a sensitive way but at the same time I want to be firm because I don't want this to escalate especially as we are going to be living at such close quarters going forward.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a firm but fair response to this?

Thank you everyone for your input.
Good to know that I'm not getting het up over nothing.
It is such a minor thing but for done reason it's really got my back up.
As Savoy mentioned, maybe I'm becoming aware of the drawbacks of having family around again, I've really only been focusing on the good points about moving.
I'm going to address it with her and I can't see me asking for help with the garden in future (I genuinely have no desire to grow plants and flowers and no one else in the house has either to my knowledge)

Sounds to me like she's already done everything she can do to her own garden, and is now having fun with yours.

I get why you're annoyed, and her saying the bush is for your DD is a blatant piece of propaganda!

Is she generally nice, kind, thoughtful? If she is, I'd let this go. But I'd be very firm: NO MORE BUSHES, say you'd planned on giving the garden a Brazilian. ;-)

Proximity has shielded you from a lot of crap and that buffer enabled you to let stuff slide. However, soon that shield will be gone and the stuff you let slide will be her blueprint for your more frequent interactions, so be prepared for a lot more bush type incidents.

This is who she is and you have to accept that, which means enacting appropriate boundaries for her personality and therefore giving her a key to your house, was not the smartest of moves. Actions speak louder than words and unless there are consequences for her behaviour, then don't expect it to change any time soon - boundaries don't police themselves.

This is not just about your relationship with your mother, it's also about the relationship model you model for your daughter and right now Grandma decides where your boundaries are.

Given what you've written about her personality, the bud nipping horse has long bolted but you can start as you mean to go on, by asking for your key back as soon as you move (not forgetting to change the locks) and telling her why. Of course she's going to huff and puff and will no doubt deploy her full arsenal of 'getting her own way' tricks but that is the price for protecting your sanity.

She chose the one thing that I had been very careful to explain we did not want, I find that strange.

Not strange at all. This is the opening shot in a war, a war that may end in the destruction of your marriage, the alienation of your children and the withering of your personhood.

But then I had to point a blade at my DM to get her to back off before she beat me to death.

This is the opening shot in a war, a war that may end in the destruction of your marriage, the alienation of your children and the withering of your personhood

Are we still talking about the bush? This seems a bit strong. I can't imagine anyone's "personhood" withering over a bush..?

Just change the lock if you're that concerned.

I moved back to my hometown, 2 minutes' walk from my parents, and they can be annoying but it's amazing to have that help so close with the DC.

"Mum! I said no plants!! Please take it away." then talk about something else, find a job you do want her to do....

Ask her to hang fire on the garden til you've moved in and filled it with a tranpoline or whatever. Then ask her to help - my DC loved gardening with my DM and having their own little plot. Plus they loved getting up every morning and checking for new strawberries etc.

Get her to do a plan or something ready for spring time planting taking into account all plants have to be easy and child friendly. Gardens don't have to be high maintenance. DM's on the other hand:)

At least she's not inside and painting it for you, changing and rearranging your furniture and soft furnishings as a surprise. ( remembers ex mil and her antics)

It seems like a small issue but it represents a much bigger one of not respecting boundaries, as other posters have said.

I'd also be highly pissed off at the manipulative tactic of doing something explicitly against your wishes, without telling you first, and then justifying it as a 'gift'. Who the fuck gives a bush as a gift to a 6 year old anyway?

but also kind of - weirdest gift EVER!

Is your mum one of those people who will take a look around someone's house, see they have no ornaments/vases/picture frames and instead of thinking 'Oh, she is probalt not so keen on ornaments' thinks 'Poor X, has no ornaments, I must buy her some!'?

It's your mum, I would repeat ad nauseam that 'Mum, I said no plants. I'm no good with plants. Plants will die. Therefore, no plants.'

I wouldn't let this go and would need to say something to her.

If you let this slide then IMO, it gives her carte blanch to cross other boundaries.

I would get the key back. Why does she need to keep popping over there?

Could you just let it die? Then be like "whoopsie well I did warn you that I'm no good at gardening!"

Disgrace
"Not strange at all. This is the opening shot in a war, a war that may end in the destruction of your marriage, the alienation of your children and the withering of your personhood.
But then I had to point a blade at my DM to get her to back off before she beat me to death."

WAY too much projection going on there! Hopefully the OP's mum isn't as bad as yours.

Agree with PPs who suggested getting her key back as soon as you move in.

Change the locks as soon as you move in; you always do don't you?

Maybe one of the neighbours would love that bush? Or maybe it can go in a very big pot in the front? Very big pots can cost £500, so that may put your mum off a bit. Get the bark chips down everywhere, on top of that stuff which kills everything growing beneath it.

You could finally formica the entire garden! Then all it'd ever need is a quick wipe down after rain! (Very old joke, stolen from a stand-up whose name I've forgotten )

ah, it might be OK, it might be in the hedge that separates your garden from newt door? but,

Dear Mum, we are/were looking forward to moving back to the area,
Please just remember it is my house, & my garden & I want to do what I want with it. I have already told you to please leave the garden, I will see what I want to do with it in good time.If I need help I know you are keen & know where to look in the eventuality that I do anything other than CONCRETE it all over.
:o)

Some great suggestions, thanks to you all
I am going to bring it up with her, now I've realised its about more than the bush.
We will definitely be changing the locks as soon as we move in, first job on the list!

What sort of bush is it? Maybe it'll flower beautifully in the summer and give off heavenly scent.

TBH,mif I only had one bush in my garden, I'd make it fennel. It's a bit ugly, but all those horrif flying things love it, and cluster on it and leave you alone.