I've posted before about my XH. most recently because I had a bizarre, but short lived reaction to him getting with a new woman. I listed some of his behaviour re the dc then. Some of the advice given was that this new 'love of his life' as opposed to the several other women he has been sleeping with since we divorced but deemed appropriate to introduce to our dc including drug and alcohol abusers might actually make him a better father but already he's proving she is more important.
To give a short overview; he was EA towards me and continues to be so on any contact we have which I try to keep about the dc. He basically leaves all the shit work to me as its womens work, he lets them down regularly, introduces them to new GF's all the time, even if they've only been seeing each other a short time and some all have had substance abuse issues, he regularly screams and shouts at me in front of the DC, he will often refuse to have only one of them if the other is ill. You get the picture. Whilst I don't doubt that he loves them, he is a very selfish man and uses his dc to show himself as a good father but then only does the bare minimum with them and mostly only fun stuff. He does have them more or less regularly and pays the minimum amount of maintenance although it's based on a conservative estimate of his income and discounts things like rent he receives from properties he owns although I think the DC (5&7) get very bored when they stay at his EOW.
What has pushed me over the edge today was this: it was his weekend to have them. He text me earlier to tell me what time he would drop them home then 'accidentally' text 'missing you loads xx' which I'm guessing was meant for his gf. Half an hour later my dc showed up at my door, he had dropped them off several hours early. He had apparently taken them out and dropped them off on the way back. They had none of their things, including school shoes and coats that they will obviously need for tomorrow. But even worse, he returned our youngest wearing dirty clothes that absolutely stank of piss. They'd clearly been taken out of the laundry basket that contained a piss soaked item of clothing.
I'm livid that he could neglect them in this way. I have had to tell him several times to bath them when he has them because he doesnt otherwise. He's also refusing to return their shoes until the morning but that means 6am because of when he goes to work and I can't cope with getting up that early (I have an illness that causes chronic exhaustion). He obviously dropped them off early because he wanted to see his gf. It's starting to make me realise just how little he actually cares about the DC. Or it could be because he knows that I will pick up his slack regardless and so doesn't even consider his effort necessary.
Anyway, I'm fast approaching the point where I've had enough and I'm also questioning his ability to look after them properly. What would you do in these circumstances?