I am early thirties, my brother is a few years older.
He has always been 'difficult' and I know autism was first mentioned when he was 3 and hadn't spoken but he seemed to grow out of it. I suppose in those days there was less knowledge about it, plus I think my mum may have had some traits herself and so didn't recognise his behaviour as different.
He really fell off a 'normal' track if you like after he graduated from university and he couldn't get a job, or more accurately couldn't keep one. Our mother had died, our father had moved in with a woman who disliked us both and really there was very little contact in those years. I was sort of doing my own thing, spent a bit of time abroad then moved about the country a bit. This did not stop my brother visiting me frequently - he'd call and ask 'can I come round?' Which sounds innocuous until you realise actually there were 2 hours between us. He would sometimes need money but really the company.
He just seemed to drift after leaving university and has always been drawn to people with their own issues. He decided to retrain when he was 27 and it was a 3 year degree yet the only friend he has from this is someone now in prison.
After he graduated for a second time he got a job, kept it for 2 years, then lost it. Chaos ensued with him developing an addiction to drugs. Our dad had split with his partner by this time and was living with him and it really was chaos. He would do bizarre things like get on trains going to random places in the middle of the night, and it was really dangerous because he was fitting as a result of the opiate addiction. He was sometimes violent and rarely slept, kept going to different hospitals with various 'pains' to access opiates.
He stopped taking them towards the tail end of 2011 and hasn't taken them since (I know this is true as he has blood tests.)
He got a job at the start of 2014. He lost it a few months later when our dad died - they let him go gently. Then he got another one and unfortunately this one didn't let him go gently and he was dismissed spring last year. He has not worked since, properly.
He lives off - a bit of JSA (this will stop in March) money from a flat he was left by our mum and a small amount from me.
Obviously it isn't enough but I'm not just talking money, now.
We can't do anything or go anywhere. He complains if you try and the only things he likes are eating and I won't eat in public with him as its disgusting.
So our relationship is - sat in his house which is filthy listening to him tell me the same things 1000 times over.
It drains me! Normally I'm so happy and cheery but I spend ten minutes with him and I want to leap over a cliff.
Before anyone starts, I know it's not his fault but neither is it mine. I know his life isn't great but mine has ALWAYS been compromised massively by him.
I am starting to hate his condition. I hate the way he can't talk about anything other than himself, I hate the way other people's bad news or sadness or grief makes him laugh uproariously (and he won't crack a smile if you tell him a funny joke) and I even hate the way he says my NAME - he sort of bellows it and stresses the second syllable. If he loses me in sainsburys or whatever instead of just having a quick look about he stands still and bellows for me, I fucking hate it.
I hate the way he can't be relied upon to do anything. Even simple requests like 'pick you up at 8' and he sleeps in.
I hate the way he can't do anything, no matter how late he is, without a cup of coffee. It makes his breath stink and he fills the cup up to the brim so coffee spills over the side and makes a mess.
I'm fast starting to hate him, and hate myself for it.