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Original poster

FAVOURITES - DO YOU HAVE ONE IN YOUR FAMILY

26 replies

drosophila · 21/12/2006 18:51

Following on from a thread I started I got to thinking about favouritism in families. It obviously exists but I would be surprised to hear anyone on MN admitting to it. Just in case there are some honest people out there would you answer the following:

Do you have a favourite child?

Were you the favourite?

Were you the least favourite?

OP posts:
laneydaye · 21/12/2006 18:53

i was and still am the favourite..xx

Kelly1978GotRunOverByAReindeer · 21/12/2006 18:55

No, but my parents did. My dad was quite upfront about the fact he was disappointed to have a daughter first and my younger brother was his favourite. Except for one short period where he cahnged his mind. Not for long though! It pisses me off, because my brother is a lazy sod, who still lives at home and they run circles aroudn him, whereas I'm trying to make somethign of my life but the sun shines out of his arse.

I like my four for different reasons, and there are times when they go through phases and I don't particularly like them, but I would never tell them that, or have a favourite, even secretly.

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 21/12/2006 18:57

i am my favourite

whatwouldjesusdo · 21/12/2006 19:41

kelly, sounds a bit like my family. My grandparents (both lots) apparently had favourites, and my parents replicated that behaviour with my brother. I dont think that I have a favourite, as I am convinced that I love all my children just the same.
Having a favourite is the most divisive thing a parent can do.

nobodys going to admit to having a favourite on mn though, surely?

WhenSantaWentQuietlyMad · 21/12/2006 19:42

I have always thought I was the favourite in our family. It is either blind arrogance or true, but I must admit I have got annoyed in the past and tried to get my parents to stop doing it.

Pinotmum · 21/12/2006 19:43

I like everyone but the children like daddy best they just said

Glassofwine · 21/12/2006 19:43

My brother was my mum's favourite and I was my Dad's only problem was that they were divorced and we only saw my Dad once a year, so I didn't do so well. I think there are times when one of your children is being particularly great or terrible - it all evens out in the end. I would never have a favourite.

flack · 21/12/2006 19:46

Me. Everybody in this house curries to my favour, wants cuddles from me first, wants to sit next to me on the train or at teatime. DH is as bad as DCs. It drives me K A R A Z EEEEE.

Kbear · 21/12/2006 19:47

I have favourites at different times I suppose. When one is getting on my wick I prefer the other! DS is more trying at the moment and DD is being an angel lately. It has been the other way round. I treat them the same, it is too wounding to be the less favoured and hard work being the more favoured child.

I always said my brother was the favourite. In fact it's a family joke. BUT I win because I provided grandchildren!!

My dad is one of 8 kids. His parents had favourites, always the baby, until the next one came along and the last one got dropped. Sad. He was the eldest so he didn't get much love at all.

whatwouldjesusdo · 21/12/2006 19:47

whensanta, my ex was also the favourite, and hated it. My brother, however, just laps it up.

multitasker · 21/12/2006 19:50

I think my mother always cuts my younger sister alot more slack than she did the rest of us, my Dad was very traditionaly Irish in that his eldest son was the most important in the family. I think some people think I go super easy on ds - hes an only boy and middle child, my eldest dd is just a mini me which is in turns gratifying and petrifying and dd2 is 3 and will always be special simply for being the youngest, always wanting cuddles and having the cutset smile

WhenSantaWentQuietlyMad · 21/12/2006 19:52

I think I feel very sad for one of my brothers, who wants to be the favourite. He probably is for my mum, but he wants to be dad's favourite, and he so obviously isn't.

The more he tries, the harder it is, and really I think the reason I am the favourite is because I don't really care as much or something. Not sure.

Too soon to tell if I will have a favourite. I don't think so, but I would never dream of telling anyone if so.

ohpleasebequietforaminute · 21/12/2006 19:56

I am the favourite - I'm with flack. Ds1,2 and 3 just want mummmeeeeeeeeeeee

ohpleasebequietforaminute · 21/12/2006 19:57

To answer the question, I don't have a favourite at all. dh has a clear one - I'm not sure whether the dcs have noticed yet, but they will one day, for sure.

RubberDuckWithCranberrySauce · 21/12/2006 19:59

I'll be honest... I think ds2 was my favourite for almost a year (between the ages of 1 and 2 years old). Ds1 was going through a really stroppy, answering back phase and I found him really hard going. Ds2 in comparison had a sunny character and was really easy to deal with.

I don't take any pride in admitting I had a favourite, and I did my utmost not to show it in anyway, but I'm sure ds1 must have realised on more than one occasion. (Interestingly, dh seemed to have subconsiously veered the other way, vastly preferring ds1's company).

HOWEVER, ds2 then hit toddlerdom with a vengeance, plus the fog of living with an under-2 sort of lifted leaving me feeling more human most days, and ds1 has suddenly matured (now he's in Y1) and become a really interesting and lovely chap to spend time with. So the balance has been redressed.

I also think that me being able to admit to myself that I had a favourite meant that I was prepared to put the effort in to try and repair the relationship between me and ds1. I still do find the occasional days where I can't wait to get rid of one and spend some nice one on one time with the other

whatwouldjesusdo · 21/12/2006 20:03

whensanta, again, sounds familiar... my brother doesnt care at all about my parents, and my mother thinks that is dashing and wonderful. She doesnt seem to realise, that in his case, he is just extremely selfish and doesnt care about anyone but himself. Her 2 daughters, who spent their childhood longing to please her, she regards with contempt.

kittylettekissingsanta · 21/12/2006 20:06

i have 3 sisters, im the oldest, my youngest sister used to be my favourite - but shes just hit 13 and is very ... umm sensitive and annoting, lol

my current fave is my eldest lil sis, as she is having a baby, lol

i dont have a favourite child though,

i think im my parents favourite - but only because i dont live with them and i dont annoy them as much as my sisters

swiftybaby · 21/12/2006 20:06

i always thought i was my mums favourite, well she used to tell me i was. It has since transpired that she tells my two sisters that they are her favourite!! Make up your mind woman! Have classic middle child syndrome, want to b favourite, most popular, funniest blah blah blah.

FioFio · 21/12/2006 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

swiftybaby · 21/12/2006 20:09

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frenziednester · 21/12/2006 20:19

Event hough I am an only child I am still not the favourite! My Mother says she prefers DH and likes talking to him better than me. (Makes me laugh). My favourites fluctuate - DS2 was defo favourite baby no matter how I fought against it, but DS1 is favorite toddler, and is much better company now. But at the end of the day, if the house was burning, I would die to save both of them and wouldn't choose.

hulababy · 21/12/2006 20:21

Don't have favourites - your children will work it out and it doesn't feel good for either the favourite or the lesser favoured child.

ComeOyeFaithfulVeneer · 21/12/2006 20:29

I don't have a favourite amongst my two but can tolerate ds (2) much better than dd (5) AT THE MOMENT AS HE IS GOING THROUGH A CUTE PHASE WHERE AS SHE IS GOIN THROUGH A WHINNY MOANEY PHASE (oops ).

I am very close in age to my sister and we were definitely treated exactly the same, no favouritism.

A very different story in dh's family. His sister (32) still lives at home funded by parents. Hasn't yet decided what to do with her life so does course after course funded by parents. FIL wants her to move out and start paying her way. MIL treats her like a porcelain doll and they have a far too needy relationship. DH doesn't sayanything but sometimes you can see the way his mum is with his sister does hurt . On the other hand he (and I) have a fab relationship withhis dad.

Miaou · 21/12/2006 20:30

No I don't have a favourite child. Yes my parents have a favourite and it's not me! I always felt my youngest brother got the best deal when we were kids but he's definitely not the favourite now. I think I'm a disappointment to my parents (they're terminally middle class and I've drifted through life without a proper job ). I don't really care though!

I am my granny's favourite. Eldest granddaughter and we have always had a very special relationship. She will be 90 in February and she's just wonderful.

dmo · 21/12/2006 22:43

my fav is deff ds2

ds1 is so like me he is 10yrs old
ds2 is soooo cute he is 9yrs old

but also love my 8mth old niece so much too have her sat or sun for the day each week
she is very ill (from birth) she has cp, is blind and a heart cond and docs havent give her long to live but i love her to pieces