My parents live close by,, but my ILs live about 150 miles away. We don?t see my parents that often, but when we do it?s maybe for a hour or two ? that?s all. But when ILs come up they have to stay as it?s too far to come up and go home the same day ? they don?t drive so are reliant on public transport. So this Christmas,we?ve been invited to my parents on the Saturday before Christmas just for eats and rinks, then they?ve been invited to us for Christmas day, and we?ve been invited back to theirs for boxing day. On each occasion we?ll see them for a couple of hours. Then we?re going up to my ILs for new year, and are staying for three nights. ILs also came to us last weekend and stayed for two nights.
When my parents originally invited us for boxing day, my dh said no on the basis that he has to work on the Wednesday and wants time at home with just us. I wasn?t overly happy with this, as I?ve put my ILs up three times in the past six weeks, and then have to go to them for three nights over new year, and yet he doesn?t want to spend two hours in my parents? company. I explained that I didn?t think he was being that reasonable, that he expects us to spend all that time with his family but that he would rather not see mine at all. He was very honest, he said he would rather not see my family at all and it wouldn?t bother him if my ds had no relationship with them.
So now we?re going on Boxing day, but on the Saturday before Christmas he has to travel, again with his mum, to go and see his gran. Fair enough, but he?s now said that he hasn?t decided whether he?ll actually be coming to my parents after ? he might just go home. Having explained what time his mum is due to catch her train, and having said that he?ll then have a 45 minute wait for a train, it seems to me that he?s deliberately going to wait longer to ensure he?ll be home too late. The trains are only every hour, but if they left just a few minutes earlier he would get the earlier train and his mum would only have to wait 15 minutes for a train whereas he?s happy to leave that bit later and wait 45 minutes.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that dh?s family get all the preference? I know it does sound petty, and my family can be infuriating sometimes, but we always have to make this big effort for his family ? dh has complained he?s not going to get any time to himself over Christmas yet he?s the one who decided we?ll go to ILs on Saturday and not come back till Tuesday, after he?s worked all the week between Christmas and new year.