If someone picked up a bag of your stuff and threw it on the floor from a great height

[sotiredofthis1]

would you be offended?

In this case h was trying to unlock the back door and my bag (raffia shopping bag full of study materials - a folder etc) was leaning against the door just where you unlock the bottom part of it (a kind of kick lock thing). So in a temper he picked the entire bag up and threw it across the room - there could have been breakable things in there as far as he knew .

Do you have to ask? This isn't the first time I'll hazard a guess.

Yes I'd be angry and think he was a twat

Hard to say. If it was the last straw with crap blocking exists then a one off moment might be understandable.

If it was a short fuse and it happened often then it would be different.

*exits

Unless he picked it up, replaced everything he broke [if anything] and said sorry immediately; and had no previous history then I'd tell him to stop being a twat.

I mean, it's a bag.

It's out of order. I'd have a bit more sympathy if you're always leaving stuff lying around and he's expressed a problem with it.

Context is everything.
I once threw my DHs kit bag into another room because he endlessly, endlessly left it right in the middle of the hallway where I tripped over it.
In fairness I knew it was just kit but I'm not some impatient arsehole - there is sometimes a limit.

So my response will depend on the context.

Agree with gamer, if it's a case of you constantly leaving stuff out &/or in the way then it's maybe understandable. If not then he was just being a twat & I wouldn't be happy.

He's a twat. And doesn't matter if the OP is messy or not. It's a shitty thing to do.

It was a nasty thing to do

He sounds extremely immature.
And also like he has an issue contrling himself.
Has he apologised and explained or picked it up?

No he didn't mention it. I went over and picked it up and put it back where it had been but further away from the back door.

I used to be messier but have really worked on it and got a lot better. H probably hasn't noticed (that I have got better) however as he is quite a negative person who likes to mutter but loud enough for me to hear things like "this house" under his breath (in this case because we had all (including him!) been piling dirty plates in the sink and when he went to get a pan out some water went on the floor boo hoo - he then aggressively questioned me over the whereabouts of the mop which he had moved ).

The bag had essentially been out of the way anyway as there is a table against the non opening part of the back door so all h had to do was move the bag slightly to the left.

Thanks for all your comments. There is no pleasing h in any case - there will always be something wrong. He is also somewhat entitled considering this to be mainly his house so my stuff is difficult to tolerate for him whereas his clutter hotspots in the house stay that way for ages.

If he is endlessly impatient and this incident is just one of a catalogue of things you dislike about him, you are probably right to be irked by his throwing your bag but it's hardly the biggest problem you've got.

It a big reaction to something minor.

How messy are you though? You should try Marie Kondo

My mum used to do this when we were children. We had messy bedrooms, dont all children at some stage?

She would deal with it not by encouraging us to clean it, helping us to clean it, giving us a reward chart, or the usual things parents do to make children understand they have to pull their weight and clean their bedrooms, no.

She would walk into our rooms, open the cupboards and pull everything out onto the floor, empty clothes drawers onto the floor, throw toys across the room while screaming and shouting and then make us stay in all day cleaning it up.

IMO a very unhealthy way to deal with things.

What do you mean, he "considers it mainly his house, and your stuff is difficult for him to tolerate?" Can you expand a bit more on this?

I don't like the sound of it...........

It was a mean thing to do but most of us have done something mean at some time, depends if it is a regular occurrence.

From what you've said so far, this sounds like it's a pattern of behaviour rather than a one off.