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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

sexual assault advice needed

32 replies

lumijay · 14/01/2016 12:13

I'm feeling a bit lost. On Monday I had a phone consult with my gp due to worsening depression and thoughts of harming myself. It's in hand I've started medication and I'm safe. But on the phone I let some stuff slip out which he followed up today and I ended up disclosing (partly) about a sexual assault that happened 8 years ago. He didn't push it and gave me some info from nhs choices website, and spoke about SARC. I definitely don't want to report it. I had been drinking at the time, i woke up to find a 'friend' with his fingers inside me, it was hurting. I pushed him off and he went out and laughed about it to our other friends, including my best friend. Ive managed to bury it till recently but i keep getting flashbacks to it, purely triggered I think by my 14 month olds comfort ritual of playing with my breasts constantly.

When he mentioned the SARC I got the feeling it was geared towards reporting. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to just bury it again and part of me wants to face it but I'm scared to. I don't want my family to know, this man was a friend of my husband and he ended up having a long term relationship with my best friend. It was like it never happened or want a big deal.

Another thing that worries me is I was reading a fb thread yesterday where lots of women said similar things had happened to them, ie waking up to something happening, and that it hasn't affected them and it seemed so common. So maybe I am just making a mountain out of a molehill.

I'm not even sure what advice I want. Ive created a new profile just to post this.

OP posts:
AristotlesTrousers · 23/01/2016 09:48

How are you doing lumijay? Were you able to phone again in the end? So sorry this happened to you. Flowers

PitPatKitKat · 23/01/2016 10:23

Hello lumijay

lumijay · 25/01/2016 17:13

I haven't been able to phone again. I'm really anxious about phone calls at the best of times. I'm still not sure I'm meant to be phoning direct. I'm not having a great day, depression is bad today, I'm still waiting for the anti d's to work. I saw my friend at the weekend and ended up having a horrible dream related to this involving my daughter.

OP posts:
lumijay · 25/01/2016 17:29

Thank you for asking. Everything feels a bit hopeless at the moment. Maybe I'll be able to phone if I can feel a bit stronger xxx

OP posts:
PitPatKitKat · 25/01/2016 18:06

Take care lumijay. Sorry to hear you're down. Brew xxx

Greenlanegal · 25/01/2016 19:40

Hi
Sorry to hear about your experience. What I can tell you from now on is that you are in control. You had that taken away from you with what happened but what happens now is down to you.
If you want to put a label on it it is a sexual assault by digital penetration.
SARCs are fantastic. They are not geared up to you reporting anything to the police, it is your choice. They are independent from the police and are bound by patient confidentiality. They have counsellors and doctors you can speak to and it is dealt with sensitively.
You may never want to report this to the police or you may did that once you have dealt with what has happened that you can report it.
Help is available. Don't suffer alone. I hope everything works out for you Smile

Greenlanegal · 25/01/2016 19:43

You can phone SARC direct and don't need a referral from anyone. They are very well trained and I'm sure you'll feel relieved once you have spoken to them.

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