I'm feeling a bit lost. On Monday I had a phone consult with my gp due to worsening depression and thoughts of harming myself. It's in hand I've started medication and I'm safe. But on the phone I let some stuff slip out which he followed up today and I ended up disclosing (partly) about a sexual assault that happened 8 years ago. He didn't push it and gave me some info from nhs choices website, and spoke about SARC. I definitely don't want to report it. I had been drinking at the time, i woke up to find a 'friend' with his fingers inside me, it was hurting. I pushed him off and he went out and laughed about it to our other friends, including my best friend. Ive managed to bury it till recently but i keep getting flashbacks to it, purely triggered I think by my 14 month olds comfort ritual of playing with my breasts constantly.
When he mentioned the SARC I got the feeling it was geared towards reporting. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to just bury it again and part of me wants to face it but I'm scared to. I don't want my family to know, this man was a friend of my husband and he ended up having a long term relationship with my best friend. It was like it never happened or want a big deal.
Another thing that worries me is I was reading a fb thread yesterday where lots of women said similar things had happened to them, ie waking up to something happening, and that it hasn't affected them and it seemed so common. So maybe I am just making a mountain out of a molehill.
I'm not even sure what advice I want. Ive created a new profile just to post this.