Just had another discussion with DH in which he implied that my parents are treating our DCs unfairly. The background to this is that my parents spend more time with my sister and her DCs than they do with me and our DCs. This is simply due to circumstances - they live closer, I tend to be busier, and my sister works so my parents babysit for her one day a week. I'm absolutely fine with this - I see my mum about once a week, and my dad every couple of weeks. However, DH seems to have taken to cataloguing every instance of them seeing my sister.
So today and last week my dad went swimming with DSis' DH and DCs. I was invited both times, but already had plans. My dad said it was a shame as he hasn't seen my DCs in a couple of weeks, but he's made plans to come up next week, so we'll see him then. I happened to mention all this to DH, who then asked "Does it bother you that your dad doesn't make time to see our DCs when he spend so much time with your sister's kids?". He went on to claim that if his dad hadn't seen the DCs in a couple of weeks, he'd make it a priority.
Firstly, FIL has never once gone out of his way to see the DCs. He only ever sees them when DH takes them to visit (twice a week). He has never looked after any of them, or shown any interest in learning how to take care of them, whereas my dad has got stucalln changing nappies, making bottles etc.
Secondly, I think it's incredibly unfair to create this comparison at all. My parents adore my DCs just as much as PILs do. The amount of time they spend with my sister's children is irrelevant to me.
But when I try to talk to DH about this, he always seems to turn what I say around so I'm the one in the wrong. I end up feeling really crap. I just want him to stop judging my parents and to appreciate them. But he can't see how I'm not annoyed about this, and seems to think I just don't care about the DCs' relationships with grandparents as much as he does.