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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To feel a bit let down by friend

15 replies

PooDogMillionaire · 13/01/2016 17:10

Over the last year I've had a few problems with a woman who has behaved inappropriately towards DH. She was very flirty and sent him texts and emails inviting him round. He told her it was inappropriate and it stopped, it did however cause a lot of rows and upset within our relationship.

A good friend of mine supported me through the whole saga. Her children go to the same school as the woman. She had never been keen on the woman in question who is a bit of an alpha female and was rather unkind to her at the school gates.

I haven't seen my friend for a few weeks, she has seemed a little vague in messages but I bumped into her today. She said she had been chatting to the woman a lot since Christmas and the woman had invited her DD round to play with hers.

I realise this may seem petty and immature but I can't help but feel my friend has been slightly disloyal.

OP posts:
RealityCheque · 13/01/2016 17:17

You are absolutely right.

You ARE being petty and immature.

Samaritan1 · 13/01/2016 17:19

No, you are not.

This woman may have been trying to lure your dh into unfaithfulness and now your friend is being pally with her? I'm sure most people would be a bit miffed tbh.

Guiltypleasures001 · 13/01/2016 17:21

It's a bit shit and I'de be upset as well op

Cleensheetsandbedding · 13/01/2016 17:28

She has let you down and you would have absolutely come up in topic.

Just be careful what you say to her now on. Your friends friendship with this other woman wasn't an old long time one - it's been cultivated after the fall out which your friend has a lot of personal information about and she was off with her in a previous occasion.

I'd be intrested (but wouldn't ask) who it was that initiated the friendship. I would start to distance myself self from her too. I just would not do that to one of my friends.

sije · 13/01/2016 17:52

Well she's not your friend anymore, a loyal friend wouldn't do this.

She needs to be careful if she has a husband, karma might bite her on the bum.

Lizzylou · 13/01/2016 17:56

I would feel betrayed too. It's not something that I would do to a friend, so I would be hurt.
Distance yourself.

VintageTrouble · 13/01/2016 17:58

Oh I'd have to say "best keep an eye on your other half then, let's hope's he's as faithful as mine" and then leave them to it

Cleensheetsandbedding · 13/01/2016 17:59

What vintage said

MoMoTy · 13/01/2016 18:00

You are absolutely right to feel upset. What kind of a friend does this? Not a loyal and good one.

AdrianlovesPandora · 13/01/2016 19:40

Yes defiantly you are right to feel betrayed. Your so-called friend is now befriending the potential home wrecker ??? Ok if the children are friends perhaps they would attend each other's parties at school but no to her going round for coffee or wine or whatever ! Line .... Friendship .... Crossed !

choceclair123 · 13/01/2016 20:46

No you're not being petty at all. I would ditch your so called friend. Very disloyal. Also wonder who initiated the "new friendship"?!

BolshierAryaStark · 13/01/2016 21:03

A good friend wouldn't do this, I'd be hurt too & would most likely distance myself from her.
Be cautious what you discuss with her from now on.

afferal · 13/01/2016 21:11

I think you are right to be annoyed too, I would be. I'd be extra wary of this other woman too..like choceclair123 said i" wonder who initiated the new friendship" seems like she tried to take your husband but couldn't so she's trying to take your (so called) friend!

Offred · 13/01/2016 21:15

Why did she have your dh's number and email?

Why didn't he block her?

Are you sure he isn't in fact the problem, rather than her?

People don't usually keep on sending unwelcome invitations through email and text, usually they carry on because somethingone has given them the impression the invitations are welcome...

springydaffs · 13/01/2016 22:04

Uh-oh cat/pigeons. I take it that's what the arguments were about Sad

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