I need to get some things off my chest.. and I really need my head straightening out.

[TrueToForm]

so I was leaving but have briefly changed my name to this before I settle on one and email people to let them know... (hopefully that and my posting style is enough for you to work out who I am)

in the meantime though I absolutely have to get this off my chest...

Dp is being fabulous of late and really is making an effort. Unfortunately I suddenly seem to be falling for other people (and this is the problem).. it really is 'people'!!!! At the moment I'd quite like to shag at least one person from work at two people that I see through a hobby I have and I have even started having various crushes on people off the telly.

I miss dating and I miss the chase and everything that goes with it. I miss online dating etc

It has made me think that I'm not ready to settle down but I have a child and feel obliged to be good. I don't want to cheat on dp or leave him but I do want to sleep with other people iykwim.. really really badly.

I said he's being fabulous lately. We've had our ups and downs this year and a lot of downs which I have posted about on here. I've not acted on these impulses, I haven't even suggested they are feasible but yes of late I am looking at a lot of people thinking "I'd like to know what he's like in bed"

I wouldn't like a gold plated arsehole tbh, you'd have to wear a but plug.

If you genuinely believe that you won't be happy in a one on one monogomous longterm relationship (and there are people like that) then it is even more important that you are honest with your dp. If you would be happy with an open relationship then you need to find someone else who is too (if your dp isn't happy with it) or you will be living a lie and long term that can never work.

I agree with Sunnysideup that counselling for you only might help as it seems to be you who is unhappy with the way things are the moment.

Also of course it is normal to fancy other people, but to fancy so many and so indiscriminately sounds like someone looking for a way out to me. The key thing is to ask yourself why you want out - once you have the answer you can move one.

move on - not move one !!

sorry crap typing

You don't suddenly go blind when you start a relationship, so I think everyone still sees other people that they find attractive. The nature of commitment is not to act on that impulse, if you ask me...

do you generally hate men?have you been in abusive relationships in the past?im only asking cos after i came out of my 2nd abusive relationship i couldnt settle for just one man,i was meeting different blokes all the time.i eventually realsised i was just trying to avoid getting close to somebody as i was scared of getting hurt again.in the end i spent a year on my own without going near a man so i could sort my head out and re-build my self esteem.

No I was on my own for 2 years before I got with my DP and actually I didn't really get involved with any men at all. Maybe I'm just realising this is it for the rest of my life and that I have to say good-by to lusting over other men

This has become quite an entertaining thread (thanks to the comments, not the OP!)-

TTF, I bet you're glad you started this, now!

i fantasise about other men / women and am sometime sad i cannot have other sexual experiences - or im just curious, after having one partner ever, but wouldnt act on it,

i think your not happy - are you really willing to restrain yourself foreverrrr?

if not then maybe you should think about leaving, but dont cheat - its just not nice, lol

i do feel for you, monogomy just isnt for everyone, i think you need to have a serious chat with your OH

cusardo have you sat on a cactus today? cause you seem to have something nasty stuck up your goldplated asshole

lol HD, I don't mind.

it is weird.

I have to restrain myself don't I.. I wouldn't cheat on dp and I don't want to be on my own forever.. besides I can't just go round sleeping with peopel willy-nilly I am a parent after all.

oh i was going to say ghds but it's head not hair

sorry

fwiw i am with custy on gold plated arsehole

sleping with people "willy-nilly" lol

Oh, I think that's it you know.. it's because I know I can't do it that I want to. It must be that would be so typically me.

Truetoform - does the rest of your life - outside of DP and kids - offer you enough validation & enough challenges? If you're getting enough sex, and you say you are, and relationship with DP is on an up...

Then it sounds like you're just plain bored and wishing your life had a bit more excitement & risk in it. Maybe you need something new in your life, but it might not be a man. A more challenging job or asking for a payrise, a new friend (female and not a f*buddy!), or taking up something a bit risky to give you the 'frisson' without the messy personal life (rock-climbing, sailing, horse-riding (a 6 ft wall will give you a good heart-stopping thrill). Anything you do that pushes your boundaries & scares you silly will probably stop your wandering eyes as well.

I am bored bored bored to be honest.

Can't leave my job, did used to own a horse but no time to commit to it now.

Hobbies generally cost money and require time and or childcare.. all of which are like golddust to me.

You're right I am absolutely bored and have been for some while. I long for some excitement. Looked at a kite surfing holiday but nobody was up for it.

Don't like climbing or pot-holing.

I already do thai boxing/kick boxing

I am so stuck in a rut.

I'd be honest and let DP go if I were you. At least give him the chance to find someone who isn't itching to stitch him up!

kama hit the nail on the head.

really,sleeping around even gets boring after a while.

and when you actually do fall in love then that desire goes out of the window IME.

hahaha - "did used to own a horse" - !?!

well, I'd suggest that perhaps you should take your bored old backside down to a charity and put some hours in there, so you're helping OTHERS instead of climbing up your own ass with self reflection.

Bubsagrub perhaps you could set us all a shining example and get your own offensive ass down to the charity shop.

bubsagrub, why have you lifted that comment to laugh at? someone suggested horseriding as an exciting hobby.. I was merely pointing out that I use to horse ride but no longer have the means.

I would like to help out at a charity but as I said fourther down I do not have the time, nor childcare. Time with my child is precious enough I am not about to sacrifice any of it.

Perhaps you should read what I have said instead of trying to start a ruck. Are you new or a name changer?

I agree with custy. Knowing you can't give in to your every whim is all part of becoming mature.

Sorry. I'm new and I over-reacted.