When a man seems to be taking things too quickly

[bodenbiscuit]

I apologise - I do post on here a lot about various people I'm dating or have dated. I have a tendency to go for emotionally unavailable men and it has caused me a lot of stress and heartache.

So, I decided to go out with someone different who I already met a few years ago. I have only been on one date with him and he made a real effort to be absolutely lovely and I do like him. But I feel he's rushing things. He's already talking about me being the one for him, going on holiday etc, He says he hasn't been on a date for years because he hadn't found the right person. He texted me to say he thought I was distant but actually I'm just kind of waiting to see how it pans out. He seems lovely but I don't know why he would be so over keen. He hasn't mentioned sex or nude photos like some dodgy guys I have dated.

He reminds me of another guy who sent me running because he was too keen and they are both Italian - I don't know if it's a culture things? That we Brits are a bit more cold and less open?

Any advice?

I saw someone like this once. I dumped him.

Johnthomas are you implying there is some inherent contradiction in advising one woman to end a nascent relationship with a man who doesn't put much effort in, and the advice to this lady to end a nascent relationship with a man who is moving too fast? Because there really isn't. Two types of unacceptable behaviour, both different from the other, see?

Since your first post your updates have got progressively worse! First the "destiny" thing and now he's trying to bring his DD to meet you?!

Holy shit woman, run for the hills! A simple "I don't think we are suited, best of luck finding someone" should do the trick, followed by a swift blocking when if he starts sending bewailing texts.

DH was like this and pursued me in a fashion that was really very old school with a declaration of love and marriage before I had even agreed to a date. He scared the beejesus out of me even though I really fancied him.I actually worked with him so knew him already and we moved in the same social circle which were the best in any workplace I have ever worked.

I ended up contemplating it all and after my initial shock a few months later we dated and have now been married for almost 20 years. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable in a relationship then don't do it but a full on pursuer did eventually work out for me.

Ok, thanks for replies. I really don't think he is a closet abuser. He is in my extended social circle and is very well liked. I can't cope with people who seem clingy. But I won't completely write him off. I have met his dd years ago but obviously not within the context of dating her father.

I don't feel sad Jimmy. Concerned regarding the amount of posters asking for advice regarding subjects which are very often trivial and being battered by a deluge of replies which are disproportionate. I do wonder how many act accordingly and throw away what could potentially be a great relationship as a result. Ltb is the kneejerk response to most of the post on here. Often rightly so, but regularly not.

"thought I was distant" would freak me out.

As does the whole "pushing for a meet then asking permission to go to the pub" thing.

He sounds like someone who will try to talk/guilt trip you into instant intimacy rather than letting things pan out.

Why isn't he planning a nice laid back second date and confirming where and when to meet, rather than telling you he "thinks you are distant"?

reckon he has little to offer in terms of emotional stability/solidity and will want to suck the life out of you and spend days discussing your "relationship" and "his feelings".

The pub anecdote makes me think he has read too much shit Internet Advice For Sad Little Men On How To Get A Woman and wants to "play hot and cold" to manipulate you

(so you're either begging for his attention or consumed with jealousy, though in fact you probably just write him off as weird and too much hard work for ONE DATE).

I've met guys like this, there is nothing apparently wrong with them if they are on the fringes of ones social circle.

but you get the vibe as soon as a woman gives them a slight indication of interest (friends or dates) then the intense, emotionally manipulative, drama llama shit comes in which he wants her to spend all her free time thinking about him.

I guarantee he's been like this with other women who have dumped him.

The more you write the more I say....
RUN FOR THE HILLS
THEY ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

If you really must insist on 'not writing him off' then I suggest you call him and tell him that this stuff has to stop as it's putting you off and you don't like it. If he doesn't back then finish it!