Stress head DP

[Madblondedog]

How do I help DP get less stressed by the little things in life?

He's a lovely kind guy but seems to get overly stressed over the smallest things. Not targeted at me ever, always work, general life, that kind of thing. His reaction is so disproportionate its almost like an anxiety of everything being perfect.

Is there a way to help him relax more and see how the little things are a pain yes but not the end of the world?

Leigh, I wish you well. It takes all sorts, it would seem. There is nothing "unique" about such a Manbaby though. They are ten a penny around these parts.

My advice to you at this point is not to make him your whole world. You say you find it difficult to make friends. Please keep trying...it's not you and him against the world ...that way sets you up for an unhealthy (at the minimum) codependent existence. Listen to me on this point x

OP, whatever works for your DP's anxiety has to be found by him. Working it out is part of the process. I have an anxiety prone DH who is a good 20years older than your DP and has learned how to handle his feelings really rather well.

Honestly, don't do his research. It is counter productive. Instead, if he says he wants to get help for his anxiety, ask questions: "Where do you think you could find out more?" "What do you want to do?" "What kinds of therapy are there?" etc. This will help him far far more.

I know it is hard to stay out of his MH problems because you love him and you want to help him, but it really really really is better for him if you hold yourself back and let him be fully responsible for his own mental health choices when he feels ready to do so.

Ok thank you Anyfucker.

Ignoring the tangent

OP, I have issues with stress and anxiety and I'm finding mindfulness very effective. There's an app called Headspace which offers a free trial. I'd encourage your OH to try it.

Thanks rabbit and faith

I'm just doing research for me really. I want to help but without stopping him helping himself. So I can (for example) look at say a mindfulness app on my phone and leave it open so he sees it and may take the idea on or may not.

He does calm down as quickly as he gets stressed.

Madblonde, if he wants a mindfulness app or ideas like that I am sure he can find them himself. One being left open on your phone is passive aggressive. My DH would be offended if I did that.

Have you done any research on codependency? There is a risk that you could drift into a codependent dynamic with him, which would be damaging to both of you. You need to be watchful for signs of it in yourself.