children don't want me

[LallyGirl230]

I am recently remarried to a wonderful man who is everything l ever wanted after a very unhappy marriage, my ex and l have 5 children together 2 are married but the others aged 20 18 and 16 live with their dad (their choice not mine) l have tried to see them and speak to them but they refuse all contact and my 20 year old has threatened violence if l don't leave them alone he says they are all happy and better off without me. l am heart broken because I love them all and l thought we had a close relationship before me and their dad separated. There is a lot of interference from their dads mother and his brothers and sisters as they all live close by. My own family are no help because even though they know how tough things were for me they think l should have stayed even though l had been hospitalized twice during my marriage through severe depression l know in my heart that if l had stayed l would have ended my life as the pressure of living in the circumstances l was
in were too great. l think some people would think it is selfish to want to be happy but l came to realise you only have one life. Please know l did try for years to make my marriage work and it wasn't an easy decision to leave.

I wouldn't give too much info about it on here iiwy op.

I have come across this - it seems pretty appropriate to my situation I think my x is trying to turn kids against me and right now he is doing a pretty good job - can parental alienation be about the things you don't do rather than what you do do there is no issue about me withholding contact I have more than enough emails offering this -it's more to do with the E & FA abuse that I am suffering from that somehow he seems to be twisting to it is me that is abusing - kids are caught in the middle yet again but the verbal abuse my Ds is giving me currently makes me want to go no contact with them - my life is hell currently - there is all this rptalk of abuse in the media yet I cannot get my kids to see that their father's behaviour is wrong that it is E& FA - they would rather believe him and say that I am schizo as my Ds called me yesterday - I have long term depression that is currently acute.

It seems I cannot do right whatever I do - say nothing about abuse and they end up in abusive relationships themselves - either giving it out or on the receiving end - I know this from my own experience _ my own DM never said a bad word about my DF - since she died everything has been questioned - I believe my DF manipulated the relationship I had with my own DB for his benefit - and now I can see history repeating itself - the x family dynamics were far from healthy -sadly in relation to mine I thought they were - but looking back now both his parents were capable of passive aggressive behaviour and mind games. I'm trying to break the pattern but it is me that is breaking

I've posted on this old thread as there are some useful links