is stinky feet a deal breaker

[wuckfit]

Early days , can't broach the subject. WWYD??

This is not just a whiff this is full on gipping material. I can't have him take his shoes of again it was rank. Totally gone of him now, how can i tell him its just not gonna work

Of course you have to dump him, but not because of his feet, because you can't even talk to him like an adult.

If you can't talk to him about something that basic, the relationship has little hope going forwards because you have communication issues.

Why can't you tell him Op, you are an adult.

Wouldn't you prefer to know if it was the other way round. Embarrassing for 10 seconds, but then at least you wouldn't spend hours wondering what went wrong.

I have no/very little sense of smell, perhaps he is the same.

Please don't opt for gradual outphasing. In my experience this only seems to fuel the fire of desire.

I have decided that 2016 is my year for assertiveness.

The last guy I was seeing had bad stench, it was definitely his shoes as opposed to his feet, I had to insist he leave both his shoes and socks downstairs if he was coming up for 'relations'.

He was too tight to buy new shoes and sulky when I complained.

Reader, I dumped him.

Not just because of the shoes but they didn't help an already dire situation with a lying, dope smoking, tight arsed, deceitful, lazy and selfish loser.

My friend's DH had smelly feet and although he was really nice, nobody ever went to their home twice.

Stinky hooves. Me no like.

Ah, what a shame, if I liked him enough I would put up with the cringe and say something. If you can't face him text him.

I'm not that into him, and I'm not going to say your feet make me physically hurl

Job done then, end of.

I had a brief relationship with a man with smelly feet. One time he asked, do my feet smell? (They did.) I said, no. I was too polite to say yes. But it definitely did contribute to the ending of the relationship.

Recently he texted me, I'd love to know why you dumped me. I still couldn't tell him.

yanbu

Stinky feet is a fixable problem - and not one he cant be aware of -

so he either doesn’t care - deal-breaker
expects you not to have a right to a hygienic partner - deal-breaker
never apologises for himself - deal-breaker

or if its a really rare rare medical condition he has no control over -he has chosen not to share this information with you and allow you to make an informed choice about how you proceed - deal-breaker

Yanbu

Stinky feet can often be shoes or especially trainers though can't it.

Stinky feet at 6pm after a hard days manual work on a boiling hot July day, with a swift but discreet apology and a quick trip to the shower - no problem.
Stinky feet on a chilly January day with no apology and no remedy - deal breaker.

Poor bloke?? Poor me and my nostrils more like, there's no way he can't have known

Poor bloke because you're not that into him anyway and you have issues with communication.

Once you've dealt with this, perhaps it's best not to get into another relationship until you have worked on your communication issues first.

I had a major problem with stinky feet about a year ago and couldn't understand why

No matter how much I washed them one foot absolutely stank and it took me a month of trying to work out why and what the hell was wrong before I went to the chemist and got some anti fungal spray

Problem was gone in a week after that so I suspect it is a fungal infection he has

Or he could just be a minger who never washes

Stinky feet can often be shoes or especially trainers though can't it.
but trainers are washable !
shoes can be sprayed with an anti bac - odour remover or worn with charcoal insoles
or soaked / sprayed with vodka - which works very well - the internet abounds with ways to suppress or cure this -
he has not looked - see "not bothered!"
or dosnt care - see "Ewwwwwwwww!"

So joysmum how would you broach the subject ?

Considering it was the third time is really seen or spent any amount of time with him.

Why not text him? Is there an emoji for feet?

I don't do texting for important stuff but I don't think that face to face is needed considering its so new.

I'd call to say you've been thinking and that you don't want to continue seeing him anymore as you would have expected to feel a spark by now if you were.

Seriously though, if you are finding it that hard to have conversations such as about the feet or to break it off at such early days, please think about what you can do about that as you're in danger of people pleading to avoid confrontation and could find yourself in more bother in future if you don't.

I say this as a reforming people pleaser myself

I shall take that on board thank you, I do not feel comfortable telling him that his feet stink at this early stage

Absolutely. It's easy for people to say 'tell the poor bloke', they have no idea of his personality. You have very little idea of his personality at this stage! But that's a conversation for someone who knows and cares about him to have with him, not you, a near stranger. For all we know, he may be well aware his feet stink but just not give a shit. Sooner or later someone will take him on, grimly preparing to attempt to 'fix' him, don't worry about that.

How about, "sorry, this is not going to work for me, unless you do something about your odourous feet". Honest and gives him a fair opportunity to address it. The damage may already be done, but if he is nice as you say, why not help his future prospects?
Ghosting and making excuses is just nasty.

But then,I have a very sensitive sense of smell, no way would I not have commented as soon as his shoes were off, no matter how short a time of knowing him.

I'd say something like, "what's that smell? I think it's your socks".