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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Am I angry over nothing?

8 replies

Thaigal · 17/12/2006 22:58

Quick briefing...split with ex 2 years ago, have 2 sons to him, he now lives with girlfriend and her 3 kids.

Now, last christmas he and his girlfriend came to see the boys on christmas day, they only stayed 10 minutes like but they did at least see them.

This year he tells me he isnt coming to see them on christmas day (made no mention of having the boys at all over christmas..would probably be mortified if I suggested it!) and he informed me that they would be coming on boxing day instead. I then informed him that we were going out on boxing day so he looked all put out and said he'd have to discuss with gf when they could come .

I'm angry because it wouldn't hurt him to see the boys for 10 minutes on christmas day surely? he drives and has a car so it would be no big thing to get here.

I'm also angry that again he makes no suggestion towards seeing the boys over christmas for any more than he has to...i.e. to 'duty christmas visit* and I'm also angry because one of the presents that ds1 is most looking foward to getting is coming from his dad and he's going to be upset if he doesnt get it on christmas morning as he will assume he isnt getting it.

So am I blowing it all out of proportion? please be honest. (which I know you will!)

OP posts:

MyTwoChocolateCoinsWorth · 17/12/2006 23:04

if he cant come christmas day (i think thats mean of him) and you are out boxing day, perhaps you could offer christmas eve instead? he could participate in the build up to the big day! and your kids could open their presents from him then, bit of bonding?

and you could grate laxative chocolate onto his mince pie.

7swansaswimmingup · 17/12/2006 23:07

agree with twochocolate and love the grated laxative idea

tigermoth · 17/12/2006 23:17

christmas eve and laxitives sounds good to me.

I don't know how old your sons are, but if they are older, would it work if you asked your ex to speak to your sons on the phone and arrange direct with them when he is seeing them? Saying 'maybe' to you is one thing, but the suggestion of saying it direct to his sons may be enough to bring him back down to earth, get his priorities right and make time for them on christmas day.

Caroligula · 17/12/2006 23:23

How far away does he live?

Original poster

Thaigal · 17/12/2006 23:30

he lives about 10 minutes away in car (less when there's no traffic).

OP posts:

fireflyxmasfairylights2 · 17/12/2006 23:41

The arse!!

Tell him you want him there to see his boys on xmas day!!

Tell him that lots of fathers want to be able to see their children on xmas morning but due to circumstances they can't.
He is one of the lucky ones, but he's not making the best of the opportunities that you are offering him

I wonder does his g'friends ex see his children on xmas day? Or are they going to be playing happy families.........

Original poster

Thaigal · 17/12/2006 23:46

I think they're playing happy families, it really pisses me off because he treats his own kids like step kids now that he has his new ready made pre-teens at their house, I really hope the kids choose not to have anything to do with him when they're older.

OP posts:

nothercules · 18/12/2006 07:29

he is an arse.

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